Sixth Grade Beginnings

Chapter 23

The room felt musty and humid, with particles of dust visibly floating through the air. Miriam slouched inside a small arm chair and heaved a heavy sigh as she looked around the place. They had been staying at this motel for a few days now and she hoped things would change soon. Next to her lay her husband on the dingy full size bed, a beer in one hand and a TV remote in the other. In front of him was an old television that was showing some sort of game show that he liked to participate in. Every now and again, the man would yell at the screen or answer the host as if his voice would get through, but never during his TV time did Bob Pataki decide it was a good idea to pay any attention to his bored wife.

Miriam had become much more alert since the fire, as they no longer had anything she liked to drink to dim her senses. The money had to be saved as much as possible in hopes of them finding a permanent place of residency, which Bob made clear even if he himself decided to spend it on himself. After taking the room in and wondering how all this even happened, she gazed over at her husband hoping he would notice her. If she spoke, he would probably ignore her or shout at her to pipe down. This she knew very well. She wanted to discuss their situation, but he would only tell her that he was handling it and not to worry. She wanted to discuss Helga, but all he would say is that she's fine where she is. She wanted to discuss the two of them getting jobs but no matter how she badly wanted to assert herself, the woman knew she would be pushed away.

Next to her on a nightstand sat a newspaper which she idly flipped through. A few ads were circled in hopes of showing her husband, even if she knew the attempt was futile. She picked it up to look over at her choices once more: a housekeeping job, a telemarketer job, a vacuum cleaner sales rep job, and finally a job as a clerk for a small convenient store up the road. All of those jobs would be simple enough for them, even she knew that. At the very least, she didn't mind applying but would only do so once the room was quiet.

A commercial came on which lead Bob to groan loudly and take a sip from his lukewarm drink. He flipped through the channels for a moment but eventually came back to the same channel he was already watching in hopes that the commercial had ended.

"Can you believe these numbskulls? How do these people even get on these game shows knowing absolutely nothing?" he asked out loud.

"I... I dunno, B," Miriam replied, hoping it was directed at her.

He held up the remote and pointed his finger at the screen. "I'd make a killing getting on this show! It's so easy!"

Before the woman could respond, the commercial ended and she closed her mouth.

What were they even doing there anyway? Were they just staying there until the money ran out or was Bob really expecting a phone call? Miriam wasn't really sure, but she wanted to believe in the man as he would typically find his way out of tough situations. There were many times before the girls were born where the two of them had been stuck up a creek without a paddle and through sheer willpower, diligence, and witty speech, Big Bob Pataki ended out on top. Why shouldn't this time be different? She recalled all of their hardships where the man had proved himself to be strong and capable but... was he still that man? She contemplated this until coming to another question, possibly one even more important. Was she the same woman as back then? Definitely not. Before Miriam had decided to settle down and join the Pataki on his life's dreams, Miriam actually was rather confident and intelligent herself. She got all A's in her classes and even took a few college courses on accounting to be able to aid her future life partner in his goals. Although not very athletic, the woman had a fine muscular build and performed quiet well in physical activities. She had a love for classical music as well as a few fine arts. Reflecting inwards, was any of that relevant now?

The woman looked down at her frail body. She was worn, aged, and weak. She had little to no self esteem and didn't even know what was going on in her life anymore, let alone anyone else's. All of her talents were meaningless now, and her physique plummeted shortly after her youngest was born. As far as her interests went, her loving husband no longer indulged her in conversations about them, nor took them on dates like he used to. The records she used to own eventually got broken over time with no real urge to purchase them again. Books got lost and trinkets thrown away. Her only real interest now was living day to day in as much peace as possible. Did she know this was selfish? Yes. Miriam was fully aware that her vise was irresponsible; however, she just couldn't bring herself into stopping. Why should she? Everything she once was... was gone. Her husband, the man who was to bring her joy for the rest of her life, through thick and thin, until death due them part was only ever concerned with getting on top and winning the big bucks. Not for his family, of course, but just for his own pride and greed. He always did his best to remain happy so why couldn't she? She's was just as human as the next person. She had wants and needs as well, so why would it be bad to indulge? The obvious answer was putting her family first.