Twenty Øne Piløts||Imagines

Scars//Tyler

Word Count:921
[!!Trigger warning!!] This imagine deals heavily with the subject of self-harm.

Stay Alive ||-//

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Tyler and I sat on the couch, watching some rom-com we had found on Netflix sometime after sitting down together. Tyler had had a long day at the studio, and when he got home, he'd wanted nothing more than some food and to relax and cuddle. After eating, he and I had snuggled up together, flipping through the titles on Netflix until we decided on one.

That led to where we were now with me snuggled into his side, his arms wrapped around my body. I wasn't paying attention to the movie, my face buried in his shirt, taking in his scent and the feeling of him holding onto me. His hand was playing with the hem of my shorts, occasionally rubbing soothing circles on my thigh with his thumb.

Neither of us spoke, and we just sat there taking in each other.

I had almost drifted off to sleep when Tyler's hand flinched and froze while he was rubbing my leg. I frowned slightly, confused at his sudden action.

But that's when I noticed that his thumb had just brushed over the rough, scarred skin on my thigh.

I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that he would just brush it off and not think about the cause of it. But I wasn't so lucky.

He shifted slightly on the couch so he could look at my leg. I felt his fingers raise the edge of my shorts higher.

When I had started self-harming years back, I'd thankfully been smart enough to do it high up on my thigh, not on my wrist. I knew it'd be too hard to hide the scars-- long sleeves in the summer would be too suspicious. So I cut my leg, and all I had to do was make sure my shorts reached a few inches lower than the marks. It had never been a problem until now.

I felt Tyler's breath catch as he pulled the fabric back far enough to see the scars. I couldn't stop the tears that spilled out of my eyes as I kept them clamped shut. They slipped out, rolling off my cheeks and staining Tyler's tshirt.

I refused to move until he did, terrified of what he was going to do. My last relationship had ended this way. I guess he decided that the burden of taking care of me would be too great. When I woke up the next morning, he had left my apartment after I fell asleep on him, and I never heard from him again. Not a phone call, not a text, just the repeated sound of his voicemail until he eventually changed his number about a month later.

"Y/N?" I could hear his voice crack as he spoke, and that was my breaking point. My body jerked with a sob as I kept my face buried in his chest.

Tyler lifted my head so he could see me, and I did my best to stop the tears that were streaming steadily down my face. He adjusted us so that we were sitting cross-legged, facing each other on the couch. I stared down at my hands in my lap. I couldn't look at him-- I just couldn't.

"Y/N," he repeated, his voice soft. "Please talk to me."

I sniffled, not sure what to say to him.

"Why didn't you come talk to me? You know you can always talk to me!"

I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "I haven't done in it in a while," I croaked, still unable to look at his face.

"They aren't fresh but they can't be more than a few months old," he said.

He was right. I had been clean for 4 months. He and I had been together for just over a year.

I sobbed, wiping my face with my sleeve again. "I'm sorry, I should've told you. It's just I know you have your own stuff to deal with, and you take care of all your fans, and I didn't want to add to your burden. When you leave for tour, it's just so hard, and I don't have anything to stop the demons in my head. I just can't deal with them. This is my only escape," I finally broke, spilling it all to him.

There was a moment of silence as I sat with my face buried in my hands, sobbing into them.

This is it, I thought. This is where he leaves.

But to my surprise, I felt Tyler's arms wrap around my body as he pulled me into him, laying back on the couch as he held tightly to me.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so, so sorry," he cried. "I never knew. I should've known."

"No, Tyler, it's not your fault," I finally looked up at him, placing a hand on his cheek. "Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

We both lay there, tears running down each of our faces.

"You're never a burden, Y/N. You could never be a burden to me," he planted a kiss on my forehead. "Please, if you ever feel like hurting yourself, or if you just feel down, please talk to me."

I nodded, snuggling into his embrace as he rested his chin above my head.

"Oh, and you're coming with us on tour next time I leave. There's no way I'm leaving you here to deal with this by yourself ever again."

A smile crept onto my face as I held him.