Twenty Øne Piløts||Imagines

I Need Your Help...//Both

Word Count:955

[!!Trigger warning!!] This imagine deals heavily with self-harm.

Stay Alive ||-//

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I stood in my room, rubbing my face and neck as I tried to psych myself up. I could feel my whole body shake as I walked to the stairs that led to the basement where my older brother, Tyler, and his bandmate, Josh, were playing some of their music. They were practicing for the small party they had been asked to play at later this week.

I sat down on the top stair, waiting for them the finish the song they were currently playing, which happened to be my favorite of theirs. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall and trying to let the music calm my racing heart.

Before I even realized it, the last note of the song played, and I could hear their voices faintly chattering. I stood up, shaking my head lightly as I walked down the stairs.

Tyler's head shot up when he heard me, Josh soon following his eye line and a smile broke onto both of their faces.

"Hey, you," Tyler said, pulling me into a side hug, keeping his arm slung over my shoulder.

"Hey," I smile back. "You guys sound really good." They both thanked me, and Tyler kissed the top of my head, squeezing my shoulder.

The smile faded from my face when I remembered why I had come here. "Hey, um... can I talk to you guys for a minute?" I asked, and I watched as the looks of concern washed over both Tyler and Josh's faces. When they noticed the change in my demeanor, they knew it was something serious. Josh immediately stood up from his place behind the drums, walking around them and over to Tyler and I.

Together, the three of us walked over to the couch, sitting down with one of them on either side of me. My heart was pounding so hard that I was sure the boys could hear it. I sat with my hands in my lap, twisting them and rubbing them together out of anxiety. I saw Tyler and Josh give each other a worried glance before they focused their attention back on me.

"I, um-- okay," I started, unsure where I wanted to begin, but still terrified to say anything.

"Hey, it's okay," Josh said, rubbing my arm gently. "You can tell us anything. Just... take your time. We'll wait." He gave me a small, reassuring smile as he and Tyler both wrapped an arm around my back.

"Okay," I took a deep breath, staring at my shaking hands that I still had in my lap. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know that... this isn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could've done to know or stop it, and the last thing I want is for you to blame yourself." I glanced at both of them, and if it was possible, they looked even more worried.

I returned my gaze to my lap, my whole body shaking as I said what had been weighing on me for a long time.

"I've been struggling with... I've been struggling with self-harm for... almost a year," I could feel my whole body tense as I waited for their response, but neither of them said anything, so I continued. "I haven't told anyone. I felt like I would be a burden and that no one else had time to deal with my problems." I took a deep breath, using my sweatshirt to wipe a tear that had managed to escape. "I've tried for a really long time to stop on my own, but it hasn't worked. I'm not strong enough. But... I'm closer to the two of you than anyone else in my life, so I wanted you to know, and I wanted to ask for your help."

The whole time I was talking, I had been staring at my lap. Now, I finally looked up, and my heart broke when I looked over at Tyler. His eyes were filled with tears as he stared back at me.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

Quickly, Tyler pulled me into his chest, and I let out the sobs I had been holding in. Josh wrapped his arms around both of us, and I felt Tyler bury his face in my hair. The three of us were a mess of sniffling and tears, but I felt safe and comforted in their embraces.

"We love you, Y/N," Josh muttered into my shoulder. "We love you so much. You could never be a burden, okay?" I nodded.

"He's right," Tyler pulled away, taking both of my hands in his and looking me in the eye. "You can talk to us-- either one of us, both of us-- any time, any day. We're here for you. You're never alone." I nodded again, and he wiped a tear away with this thumb and pulled me back into his chest, kissing the top of my head.

The three of us sat there close together for a long time. Tyler clung to me, holding me close to his chest while ran his hand up and down my back soothingly.

"Hey, I'm really proud of you for telling us," Josh said, embracing me tightly. "I know that must've been a really hard thing for you to do."

"You'd be more proud of me if I didn't get myself in these messes in the first place," I sniffled, wiping my face on my sleeve.

"Hey, that's not true. You're so strong and so inspiring," Tyler reassured me. "You're so amazing, Y/N. Please remember that."

For the first time in a while, I smiled-- and it wasn't faked or forced. "I love you guys," I muttered, holding onto both of them.

"I love you, too," they both whispered back.