Freaks and Geeks - Season Too!!!! (SATIRE!)

S02E02 - Great Expectations (Part 4)

The next morning, Riz walked the concrete path to the front of William McKinley High, clad in a red tank top over a white tank top and light wash jeans with a few tears in them. Several students stopped what they were doing and stared at her as she passed by them. They made faces, snickered and whispered about her, but she paid them no mind. None of them, that was, aside from the skinny kid in the windbreaker she set on fire.

The rumors were almost always the same, and Riz had become somewhat numb to them as a result. Because of how she dressed, because of how she chose to present herself with her hair and her attitude, it was widely believed that she was a wild and very, very loose girl. Her fellow female peers judged her and her male peers just thought she'd drop trow and fuck them in the men's room between classes. It was hard to make friends when those sorts of attitudes immediately began to spread, and Riz was happy to have found Kim and her group before they believed it, too.

Neal, Sam and Bill were all walking towards the school entrance as well, having a conversation amongst themselves.

"Yes, he could, Bill. It would be amazing," Sam defended his position on the matter staunchly.

Bill shook his head in disagreement. "No, it would be boring. And I never said he couldn't play on a team, just that he shouldn't."

"But just think about how great it would be! And it would finally be a reason for us to watch football!"

Frustrated, Bill let out a huff, rolled his eyes and continued to defend his position. "Think about it: any team that had Superman on it would never lose a game, and it would be the same team winning the Superbowl forever. Boring. He can't tackle anyone or he'll kill them, he can't pass the ball to anyone but himself or he'll kill them and he could cause an earthquake just by celebrating a touchdown! All he can do is get endless touchdowns faster than the speed of light, which nobody would be able to see, or intercept the ball and get endless touchdowns faster than the speed of light... which nobody would be able to see. And just think of what would happen if someone tried to tackle him!"

Neal had been nodding his head furiously at either side of the battle, just waiting to throw his gem of an idea into the fray. "But what if Superman was the coach and not a player?" His statement caused both Sam and Bill to ponder the situation, the two looking almost comical in their stout state of consideration.

"Hey, guys, serious question-"

"Wondering if Superman can play football is a serious question, Neal!" Sam yelled.

Recoiling from the sudden outburst, Neal held out his hands in surrender, watching as the new girl passed by his group. "What, um... what do you guys think of that Riz chick?"

Bill shrugged in response. "She's kinda weird."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "She's quiet; she never talks to anyone."

Gaining a smug look on his face, Neal countered, "She talks to me."

"Yeah, well I saw her talking to Kim Kelly and hanging out with those freaks yesterday, too, so that isn't saying much."

"Haha, funny guy! Just remember: your sister still hangs out with those goons, too," Neal said sarcastically and looked over his shoulder to Riz as she climbed the stairs. She noticed him and sent a warm smile his way. Suddenly, as if a light came on over his head, he whipped his head back around to his friends and asked, "Do you think Riz does it? She looks like she does it."

Bill and Sam looked at each other, both similarly disgusted by the judgmental tone of the question. Sighing, they began to walk around and passed their friend, with Sam quipping, "Neal, what's a girl who does it supposed to look like?"

"I don't know!" Neal defended weakly. "Anyway, I heard stuff, alright Sam?"

"What stuff?" Bill asked.

"Stuff!"

As Riz had assumed, it didn't take long for the rumors to start spreading. Hanging out with Kim only seemed to hasten their arrival, as most of the student body assumed Kim only associated with sluts and whores. Once Neal got an earful of salacious gossip being spread about Riz, he knew he had enough jerk-off material in his head to last an entire month!

Without giving him even the satisfaction of a response, Sam and Bill continued their trek to the front doors of McKinley High.

"Guys," Neal sighed, "come back."

Reluctantly, the two did and Neal looked from side to side for a moment, as if to make sure no one was close enough to eavesdrop on what he was about to say.

"Do you guys ever think about really having sex?"

Sam looked horrified. "With each other?"

"Sometimes," Bill answered with a shrug, gaining shocked looks from both of his friends. "But only around lunchtime, and it's usually a threesome with the lunch lady."

"Um... I meant with girls. Girls like Riz," Neal reiterated.

"Ohhhhhhh..." Sam and Bill said at the same time. Looking slightly embarrassed, Bill answered first.

"Well, a bit."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "me too, every now and then. You?"

"Oh man," Neal began, looking at the two like their answers were preposterous, "are you kidding? I think about sex all the time! As a matter of fact, I missed most of your answers because I started thinking about sex!"

Bill and Sam groaned in disgust, rolled their eyes and continued their path to the entrance.

"Neal, you're sex crazed!"

"You're sick! You're a pervert!"

"No I'm not!" Neal defended as all three made their way inside.