Freaks and Geeks - Season Too!!!! (SATIRE!)

S02E02 - Great Expectations (Part 6)

"I think I figured it out," Nick said in a slightly stoned voice as he sat at the round lunch table with his friends. "I'm gonna be one of those big-wig Hollywood directors, man!"

No one replied. At least, not in the way Nick was hoping for. He was met with loud sighs, yawns and one squishy-sounding fart. At least once a week, Nick would try to enthrall his friends with a new vision of his future. A deejay, a lumberjack, a disco dancing superstar, a jellyfish wrangler, the sculptor of the world's largest pad of butter. They had heard it all before, and his latest reveal was no different, because they were all sure it was a pipe dream that would be forgotten in a day or less.

"Check it out," Nick continued enthusiastically. "I already have the opening title planned out in my head for my first movie."

Another round of sighs and groans followed his words, but he continued on anyway.

"The opening title will flash across the screen..." He held his hands up, open-palm, slowly moving them farther apart as he continued. "Followed by the first few chords of the main theme song." He cleared his throat quickly before beginning to belt out badly imitated acapella renditions of music notes. "Bee-boop, bee-boop, bee-boop, boopity, boppity, dee-dupe, dee- BLAAAARRRGGH!!" He finished with a large rush of vomit projecting from his mouth as Kim, one hand still propped under her chin to hold up her head as she stared at him in total boredom, tapped his forearm with the S.I.C. stick again, and continued to watch the resulting mayhem.

Barf flew over the table and hit a few passing jocks, causing them to slip and slide right out of the cafeteria before they could retaliate.

"And that's..." Nick attempted to speak, spitting out chunks of half-digested food and coughing as he did so. "That's basically how my new space alien, romantic-comedy movie is gonna start. I gotta- I gotta go. I think I shit my pants."

"You did," Kim affirmed, kicking his smelly, stained chair away as he rushed from the cafeteria.

A moment later, Lindsay arrived and grabbed another chair to join them. "Why did Nick just leave a poop-trail behind him as he ran out of the cafeteria?"

"Her name's Sara," Kim zinged, gaining a slick smile on her face.

"Nice burn!" Ken acknowledged as the rest of the group cheered her witty response.

Calming her laughter and taking a seat, Lindsay asked again, "No, really, what happened to him?"

Kim shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her cola. "I had to stop him from embarrassing himself... again."

"Again?"

"Yeah. Apparently he's going to the dance with that loser girlfriend of his."

"I think that's sweet."

"Lindsay, that dance is for total losers! And they're going as Sir Grapefellow and Baron Von Redberry, two cereals so lame they don't even make them anymore."

"Yeah? Well, I'm going to that dance, too." Daniel announced.

Kim, Lindsay and Ken all burst into laughter at the very thought. The idea of Daniel Desario even being caught dead at a school dance was ridiculous, but the notion of him going to one voluntarily was unfathomable.

"Who are you going with? Your hand?" Kim asked snidely after her laughter faded, making a jerk-off motion in the air and giving him a face. While Daniel had been flirting with other girls, Kim knew for a fact that he hadn't been on a date with anyone since they'd broken up permanently.

"No," Daniel answered with a wide grin. "Tina Shields."

"What?" His answer changed Kim's mood from playful and sarcastic to pissy and 'fuck off'-ish in record time.