Hopeful and Hopeless

One.

"I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring." - David Bowie

Monday, March 5th, 2018

I SMOOTH DOWN MY SILK DRESS, studying my appearance in the mirror carefully. A little bit of my hair is out of place at the top and I fix it up, adjusting my pearl necklace while I'm at it. I feel so expensive, like a princess. I never usually look like this, usually I'm sporting jeans and a plain top, however, tonight is a special occasion.

I've always wanted to own my very own cafe. One that featured the recipes of the pastries my Mum use to make when I was growing up. It seems like I've been waiting for this day for a lifetime. The last three years have been especially suspenseful. There has been so much build-up to today too. Saving, planning, preparing. But tonight, it opens and I couldn't be more relieved, and nervous.

Matilda, my sisters, voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "You're nervous." She knows me too well. She's right, I'm beside myself. I turn on my black heels and look down at my beautiful sister. She's wearing a pale yellow dress that is tight at the waist and flows out, reaching her knees. She looks so grown up, tears prick at my eyes as I stare at her in awe.

"Give me a little twirl." I beam and she rolls her eyes, reluctantly moving the wheels of her chair to do a little spin. I cannot begin to explain how strong she is. I could only dream to come out the back end of what we went through as an even better person.

Four years ago, there was an incident that led to Tilly having her right leg, from the knee down amputated. Usually, she wears a prosthetic leg but for some reason tonight, she's in her chair.

"I'm going in my chair tonight because they made us do this cheesy team building activity at school and it wore me out." She says, almost as if she can read my mind. Even though she has gotten really good at using her prosthetic leg, its very draining having it on for an entire day. I nod in understanding and let out a long sigh, checking the wall clock.

It's 6:00 on the dot. Willa, my best friend organised most of the cafe launch with me and we planned for all the guests to arrive at 5:30 and mingle before Matilda and I arrive. I hardly know any of the guests tonight, I hardly know anyone to be honest. After 2 and a half years of living here, I've only really met and stayed friends with Willa and her boyfriend, Julian. I met Willa while working my first job in America at a law firm. I was the receptionist and she an intern, and after one conversation, we became inseparable. It's also really handy that she attends Berkeley University which is just up the road from Matilda and I's town apartment building. We are together 80% of the time.

"We better get going, the guests will be expecting us." I grin wide, a quick burst of excitement rushing through me. I'm allowed to be excited. I have every right to be. I have worked my butt off for today and nothing can change that.

Matilda takes my hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly, "They would be so proud of you, Emilie." She shoots me a warm smile and I shake my head in disbelief. Despite being 5 years her senior, I want to be Matilda when I'm older.

"And they would be even more proud of you." I lean down, placing a kiss on her cheek.

We both head out of our apartment, Matilda trailing close behind me. Everywhere we need to go is in walking distance from our apartment. Because of my saving up for the café, I haven't had the money to get a car. Matilda usually takes the bus to school and I usually walk to work. I won't have to walk very far now though, the café is just a few shops away from our apartment complex.

Soon enough we arrive outside my freshly furbished café. Noella's is lit up in cursive, above the storefront. I came up with a name as a tribute to the town and Matilda and I grew up in.

I look at the sign, smiling with pride. I did this. This is my hard work, my savings. All in the one place. I spot Willa waving to me through the glass door, her smile is wide, showing off her tooth gap. When she was younger, her parents tried to convince her to get braces to fix the tooth gap. But, Willa, being the extremely stubborn person she is, refused. She thinks it adds personality. Not that she needs anymore personality, she is definitely out there.

I stand behind Matilda in her chair, gripping the handles. I lean down, my head next to hers, "Let's do this." I beam, you can almost hear the wide smile in my voice. I wheel her in front of me, Willa opening the door for us. We enter the dimly lit café, confronted with a large group of unrecognisable people applauding.

"Introducing, the owner of the best café in town, Emilie Atwood and her gorgeous sister Matilda Atwood!" Willa uses my full name, sounding extremely formal. She sends a wink my way as she says my name and I roll my eyes, looking around at everyone.

I take a second, scanning the crowd. My eyes connect with Julians familiar ones, he holds up his champagne glass at me, giving me a proud nod. I cannot take the smile off my face.

Everyone here looks so official and important. I'm not surprised Willa was able to get some pretty cool people here though, she just seems to know everyone. This all just seems too surreal.

This is happening. This is actually happening.