Hopeful and Hopeless

Eight.

"I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you, but in the process I forgot that I was special too." – Madonna

Monday, March 19th, 2018

"WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?" I ask Lukas, breaking the comfortable silence between us.

"I will tell you as long as you don't laugh at me." He says quickly and I let out a laugh already, just wondering what he's going to say.

"It can't be that bad. I'm afraid of enclosed spaces." I assure him, eager to know what his biggest fear is.

"No, that's understandable. Mine is pretty stupid.

"Just tell me!" I bug him.

"Fine. Cats." He answers. I smack my hand over my mouth, stopping myself from bursting into laughter. "You said you wouldn't laugh." He groans and I stifle a little laugh.

"I'm not laughing, I promise," I say but it comes out muffled as my hand is still covering my mouth. "So like, you can't watch Garfield? Or Tom and Jerry? Do they freak you out?" I tease him and he whacks me lightly. "I'm sorry! It's just not what I expected. Why are you scared of cats?" I flip myself over so that I am on my stomach, leaning on my elbows. The grass here is so soft, I could lie in it forever.

"When I was about 7, I went to a friends house and he had a cat. We were playing around with it, annoying it. And all of a sudden, it just leapt onto my face and attacked me. I almost shit myself. I still have a scar on my face from that day." He leans forward, pointing to something just above his eyebrow. I can hardly see it because there isn't much light.

"It's too dark out. But that does sound pretty scary. I've always been more a dog person anyway." I tell him and he smiles.

"Me too, I have two dogs. Millie and Cooper. German Shepherds." He tells me with a wide grin on his face.

"I have a dog named Millie too! She lives back in Australia though, we weren't allowed to bring her over when we moved here." I grab my phone, bring up a photo of her. "She's a poodle."

"Very cute." He says and I smile proudly, putting my phone back in its place in my back pocket. "You didn't have to come tonight you know, you obviously don't like large crowds so you're probably not going to get the whole college football experience." I switch over, lying down on my back again. I find it hard to sit still a lot of the time.

"I'm still glad I did," I admit to him and he sits up, shocked.

"You are very confusing, Emilie. One minute you're rejecting me, the next you're flirting!" He gasps and I sit up, shocked.

"I am not flirting!" I defend myself. Am I flirting? I'm really not good at all this stuff.

"You so are."

"Well," I stammer, completely taken aback, "you started it!" I retort like a 5th grader, making Lukas burst into laughter.

"That is fair, I did start it." He looks me up and down again and I feel myself shifting awkwardly. He always does this. "I didn't get the chance to say this before, but you look beautiful." He tells me, the playful tone in his voice is no longer evident.

"Thanks, Lukas." I blush furiously. It's dark enough outside to ensure that he can't see my face extremely clearly, which I'm thankful for in this moment. We stay silent for a few moments, now sitting cross-legged, facing each other.

"How did the meeting with my Dad go today?" He breaks our silence.

"Oh," Very weird. "It went well. You and him are nothing alike." I tell him and he raises his eyebrows.