Hopeful and Hopeless

Twelve.

"The past is a great place and I don't want to erase it or to regret it, but I don't want to be its prisoner either." - Mick Jagger

Saturday, March 24th, 2018

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GO TO THIS SCHOOL and you go to all of these games, but you've never slapped on some red face paint to support a team," Tilly mutters condescendingly as she paints half of Lukas' face red for the game. I look out onto the field, watching Willa and her team on the sideline talking.

"I didn't come here to be dragged by a 16-year-old." Lukas groans and I laugh to myself, leaning into Julian who is on the other side of me.

"Is she nervous?" I ask him, keeping my eyes on Willa as she grabs her drink bottle, squirting some water into her mouth.

"Very nervous. Her coach told her today that there are some scouts here from US Soccer that will be looking out for standout players. She's been stressing about it since." He tells me, rubbing his knees nervously. We're both really nervous for her. Soccer is her dream, even more so than becoming a lawyer and if she really wants a future in the sport, she is going to have to impress those scouts.

"She copes well under pressure though. She's just overthinking it." I try to convince him, and myself.

"Yeah for sure, she'll smash it," Julian says, not sounding too convincing. The truth is, we know that she's a really good soccer player. She's the best on the field. But you can never tell how a game will go. She has her off days, I'm just hoping that today isn't one of them.

A siren sounds across the field and both teams join in their little huddles and start doing a team chant. We have a good view of the field where we're sitting. Lukas got us in before everyone else and managed to get us seats in an area that is usually closed off in the bleachers. The perks of being friends with the headmaster's son.

I rub my eye and the red paint on my face smudges all over my hand, "Crap. Tilly, can you fix my face-paint up?" I ask her just as she finishes with Lukas' face. He looks at me and pulls a face. I'm not going to lie, he looks ridiculous. We all do.

"Yeah sure," Lukas and I swap seats so that I'm sat next to Tilly. She begins to paint my face again, "You're so into him." She whispers in my ear. I let out a little gasp, turning around to look at Lukas. He is in his own world, talking to Julian as both of the teams take to the field.

"Not in that way. He's just a friend." She crinkles her nose and shakes her head at me in disbelief.

"I'm not believing that for a second." Stubborn as always, just like our Dad. "Done." She finished up my face-paint and packs it all away.

Before I get a chance to defend myself, Lukas taps me on the shoulder. I turn around the face him, "Hey, I came up with a new line!" He states.

"Let hear what you've got." I prepare myself.

"Do you play soccer? Because you're a keeper!" He lifts his chin proudly and I let out a laugh. I'm at the point now where I have no clear whether deep down he is being serious when he says his pick-up lines. He knows that I'm not looking for a relationship right now, I have too much going on and he respects that.

But something inside of me kind of wants him to be serious about them.

"That was a good one," I tell him, the siren sounding again. The referee blows his whistle and the game kicks off.

For the next hour and a half, we all jump up and down in our seat nervously, cheering when Willa gets the ball, pouting when the other team does. Willa has been playing the best I've ever seen her play and I cannot help but be proud of her. She is my best friend and she's done so much for me. She's like my other sister.