Hopeful and Hopeless

Twenty-Two.

"I always believe that when you follow your heart or your gut, when you really follow the things that feel great to you, you can never lose, because settling is the worst feeling in the world." - Rihanna

Wednesday, April 19th, 2018

WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, kissing can feel like healing. All your problems, everything that has been weighing on you just disappears completely.

His breath is hot right against my lips and I study his features, nervous at the proximity of our faces. I've really never been so close to his face before, his eyelashes are so dark and long. Why do boys always have better eyelashes than girls? It's very rude.

After a few moments, both of our holds on each other unlocks and I take a step away from him. My entire body is still in shock, trying to gather all of what just happened.

"You just kissed me." I finally say, putting my fingers to my lips in shock.

"Yes, I did. And you kissed me back." A wide grin is plastered on his face as he speaks with pride. He seems happy really happy, just like I am. I'm very happy. This is the happiest I've ever felt. And also the most confused. What will Tilly have to say about this? What about Mr Berkeley, or Mrs Berkeley?

"Yes, I did." I crease my eye in disbelief.

"Was that okay?" He asks me hesitantly and I jump out of my daze, smiling.

"Yes! Very okay." I answer very quickly and his face lights up into an even bigger smile. After that we are silent for a few moments, obviously trapped in our thoughts. I almost forgot about everything, about the fact that I probably should actually turn up to work, about the fact that Mr Berkeley warned me about being around his son. "Uh, I should actually get going." I recollect myself and his face drops.

"Oh, really?" He asks, the disappointment evident in his voice

"Yeah, I really should get to work, ya know?" I chuckle awkwardly. "Don't worry about taking me, I'll ask Willa." I spin on my heel to quickly grab my phone from the bed behind me. I open it up and quickly send Willa a text after asking Lukas for the address.

Hey, you know how much you love me right? <3

Should I be scared?

Of course not!

Okay then, proceed.

It's kinda hard to explain... But could you pick me up from 74 Cloverfield Ln? It's an emergency.

Shit. What kind of emergency?

The I-need-to-get-out-of-here-asap kind.

So it's not really an emergency...

Look, please? I will love you forever and ever and ever.

Grrrrr fine. But I would hope you already love me forever and ever.

Yes! YOU'RE THE BEST! xxxxx

I know I am! I'll be there in 5.

I'll be waiting!

"Willa will be here in a minute, I should go and wait out for her," I mutter, collecting my shirt which I had obviously dropped in the process of making out with Luke. Slinging my shirt on and hopping around to put my shoes on, I take one last look around the room. Lukas just watches me in silence and I can't help but wonder what he is thinking about right now.