Awsten was absolutely terrified. He was in his bathroom, staring at his hair. What if it all fell out? He played with the strands, frowning unhappily.
He looked down at the shirt he had stolen from Geoff last night. He smiled at how big it was on him.
He felt sick again. God, he was so skinny. How didn't he notice it before? His jeans sagged, his shirts were too big and the dumb plastic bracelets he always wore were slowly slipping off his wrists. He ran his hands over his cold arms, sniffing quietly. Why couldn't he just be normal?
Why couldn't he just be cancer free?
After having his breakdown over his diagnosis, he took out his little flip phone, taking a mirror selfie and sending it to Geoff.
Me: I stole your shirt
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Big bear: you're so adorable oh my god please keep it.
Me: <3
Geoff was always such a sweetheart to Awsten, and Awsten craved affection. Maybe that's why Awsten was so attracted to him? As a friend, obviously, but attracted all the same. He giggled when Geoff sent about a billion love hearts. He shoved his phone in his pocket and left the bathroom, going downstairs.
"Drink this." His mother handed him a water bottle.
"I don't really feel thirsty, mom-"
"Drink it, Awsten Constantine," She said firmly. "I want it finished by the time we're at the hospital."
Awsten frowned and nodded, taking the bottle and going out to the car. He sat in the passengers seat, huffing angrily. He wasn't thirsty at all. He took a sip, glaring out the window as his mom sat in the car.
"You okay, sweetheart?" She asked as they drove.
"I'm scared," Awsten took another sip. "So no."
—
"Hey, Awsten!" Jack smiled, coming out into the waiting room. "You ready?"
Awsten shook his head, which was expected.
Jack sighed, forcing a smile. He knew how scary this was. The amount of patients he had terrified to even go into the room was upsetting. Considering he only worked with kids- it was even worse. "Come on buddy," Jack led Awsten and his mom to a small room. The walls were white and the lights were bright. There was a window on one side of the room, a tv on a stand and a couch under the window. The bed was in the middle and there was a bunch of stands and cords everywhere surrounding it.
Awsten went and sat on the white bed, running his hand over the blanket on the end. "A-am I gonna be here?"
"Yup," Jack said. "The tv remote is in that drawer next to your bed," He pointed out. "Now, we've gotta talk before we go through with the procedure okay?" He sighed at the look of horror on Awstens face. "Hey, you'll be okay." He assured.
"Will my hair fall out?" Awsten whispered.
"Not right now, no, but in a month it might," Jack said. "It's okay. It'll grow back, buddy," he shifted on the bed. "Now, a nurse will come in and put an IV into your arm. We can offer getting a Hickman line which would make chemo much easier but we can talk about that later on. Anyways, the nurse will flush your body with saline and give you some medication to make you less nauseous. You still will feel nauseous, but it's better than nothing. You'll be on chemo for 12 hours and you may be really sore during and afterwards. You might feel bone pain, nerve pain, pain when you're asleep, sitting or laying down, pain when moving, weird tingling or BTCP."
"What's BTCP?" Awsten asked, ready to puke.
"It's like.. a short, sudden burst of pain. It normally hurts a lot. While in chemo you might get hot or cold flushes, and they can be severe too. There's a bucket under your bed if you need it," Jack said. You're allowed to walk around and your IV stand has wheels on it so you can wander further than the room. Make sure you drink lots of water, and we'll bring food around for you during the day. You might need to pee while in treatment, but because chemo dries out your body you might have trouble pooping."
Awsten, being the ten year old boy he was, giggled. "Poop."
Jack rolled his eyes, laughing too. "Anyways. If you need me just press the button," Jack said. "The nurse will be here now. Get comfy buddy." Jack got up and gently ruffled Awstens hair. He left the room, just as the nurse came in.
