Love letters; Gawsten

24

Hi rlly quick! There's a photo of Awstens cannula just down there so if you don't like that stuff I'm sorry :/
Also, thanks for actually reading this what?? I went up by four HUNDRED reads in two days ! Thank y'all 💗💕💘💓 ilysm
-cass

—

After about twenty minutes of the saline, Awsten had calmed down a little. He wasn't crying anymore, which was good because Jack said he needed to be hydrated. He texted Geoff while he waited.

Me: I'm at the hospital, they've put some weird water thingy in me.

Me: Pretty cool huh

Big bear: are you being brave?

Me: yup ! They gave me stickers so I felt I sorta had to

Big bear: I'm so proud of you

Big bear: can I come visit my favourite cancer patient today

Me: of course ! Maybe after lunch because I'm really scared right now and they're about to put chemo stuff in me

Big bear: <3

Awstens smile turned into a frown as Dallon came back in. "N-no, no-" Awsten immediately went into freak out mode. "I-I changed my mind, no chemo, I don't want it, I don't want it!" Tears started to fall down his sunken, pale cheeks rapidly. "I don't want it!"

"Hey, relax," Dallon said softly. He pulled out the chair again. He stopped the saline flow and left it hooked up. "Deep breaths.." he said gently. "It's not going to be that bad. I promise you it will be okay. We can get you all comfy and put on a movie and give you some popcorn or something, alright?" Dallon reached for Awstens arm.

Awsten retracted it, shuffling as far away as possible. "No!" He said quickly. "Uh-Uh!"

"Awsten, it's okay-" his mother soothed, gently smoothing out his hair. "Take some deep breaths."

Awsten shook his head, his sobs becoming louder. "Momma, no!" He held his arm to his chest tightly, staring at Dallon like he was about to shoot him in the face. "I don't want it!"

"Awsten, you need this. Look at me. Look at me right now." Ginny said firmly.

Awsten turned to look at her, shaking his head as he mouthed the words 'I don't want to' again and again.

Ginny gently cupped Awstens face with both of her hands. "Take some deep breaths for me. It's not going to be that bad. You can hug me while Dallon puts in the chemo tube if you want, Awsten. But it needs to be done. Tell me that you're brave."

"I'm n-not brave!" Awsten cried, his puffy bottom lip sticking out as he bawled. "I'm not! I don't wanna!"

"You're so brave, sweetheart. You can do this," She soothed. "Deep breaths. Come on, tell me you're brave."

"I'm n-"

"You are. Tell me you're brave."

"B-brave, I-I'm brave-" Awsten choked on sobs. "Momma, I-I wanna go home!"

"I know sweetie. Deep breaths, you're doing so well. Come here," She pulled Awsten into a hug, rubbing the boys back gently. "I love you so much. I love you so, so much and I am so proud of you. You can get through this."

Awsten felt Dallon take his arm again. He cried out like he had just been stabbed, retracting his arm. "Momma!" He clutched onto her tightly, his salty tears running down her chest and soaking into her shirt. "N-no, no no!"

"Awsten, come on now," she pulled Awstens arm off her, holding it out to Dallon again. "Awsten if you don't stop this funny business I'll leave the room."

Awsten shook his head. "Please d-don't leave m-me!" He cried. "M-M-Mom!" His voice was cracking every second word from how hard he was crying. "No!"

"Deep breaths, sweets, you're safe.." she whispered to him, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

"You're doing so well," Dallon praised, taking out the saline tube and clipping in the chemo tube. He hooked the chemo bag to the stand and reached out, gently rubbing Awstens back. "I'm going to turn it on now, Awsten. Just remember that everything is going to be okay."

Awsten shook his head. He let go of his mom, trying to rip out the cannula. He wanted to scream. "No! I don't want it, take it o-out!" He yelled at Dallon.

"It's okay. Deep breaths. Have a drink of water, okay?" He passed a cup of water that he had prepared earlier to Awsten, expecting the tears.

"No!" Awsten pushed the cup away, watching it spill on Dallons shirt. "I don't want it!" He continued to tug at the cannula until it started to hurt. "Take it out, take it out now!" Awsten put his head in his hands, tears rolling down his forearms and landing on his lap. "Take it out, I hate it! No no nonono!" He was screaming at the top of his lungs by this point. "Momma make him stop, make it stop, no-" he gasped out. "No!"

"Turn it on, Dallon," Ginny said. "He needs it."

Dallon nodded, gently unclipping the stopper on the bag. He watched as the clear Vincristine ran down the clear tube, going into Awstens cannula. He felt absolutely terrible. "It's okay, Awsten."

"I'm not okay!" Awsten cried. "I hate it! If I don't get a sticker I'm gonna yell at you forever!" Awsten pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, his tiny body shaking violently. "I wanna go home!"

"H-here, pick a sticker.." Dallon said gently. He handed the sheet to Awsten, who snatched it from Dallon.

"Awsten, apologise." Ginny said firmly.

"No," Awsten took a purple dinosaur and a yellow one that said 'rawr!!!' With a dinosaur 'eating' the word. "I'm taking two," He shoved it back into Dallons hand and huffed. "Y-you upset me, and I'm not gonna forget that." He turned to his mother and held his arms out, silently begging for a hug.

"Awsten, I said to apologise to Dallon. You're being rude." Ginny frowned.

Awsten shook his head. "He hurt me."

"Awsten, I-I'm sorry, I'm new to this and you're the first patient I've had unsupervised. Can you please forgive me? I really tried to be nice and support you, buddy. I'm just not really good at this yet," Dallon said softly. "Can we be friends again?"

Awsten looked over at Dallon, glaring at the tall man with floppy hair. "J-Just this once." He mumbled. He couldn't help but giggle at the look of happiness on Dallons face. Years still rolled down his cheeks, but at least he smiled.

"Hey, there we go!" Dallon smiled. "You have a very cute smile, Awsten."

"I know," Awsten mumbled, going back to clinging to Ginny. He wiped some stray tears off his face, then cuddled into her soft, tanned skin. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I know you are sweetheart. I know," Ginny whispered, watching as Dallon left. "You're okay though. You're going to be just fine."