Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 57: Visiting Room

I lay staring out of the window. I fell asleep once, but I woke up thinking I dreamt that nightmare. I looked around and saw that I was in a hospital gown, and then it all hit me again and I realised it wasn't a nightmare. I just kept crying again, so I'm trying not to sleep. My eyes are sore and puffy and my throat is so dry. I feel like absoutle shit.

"Layla." Hayley says softly, touching my shoulder.

I don't say anything, and continue staring out of the window.

"The nurse says you're ok to come home now."

I stay quiet as a tear rolls down my face. She lays down next to me and hugs me for a little while.

"Take me home." I whisper.

"Ok." She rubs my arm and we both sit up.

I change my clothes and she walks me out of the room and drives us back to her house. We get out of the car and walk over to the front door.

"I uh, asked Jake to take Zack to the cinema... I didnt want Zack asking you questions."

I give her a look and don't say anything. I nod slowly. We walk inside and in to the kitchen.

"I'll make you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten anything Layla."

"I said I'm not hungry."

"I know you're upset but you need to look-"

"No Hayley! You don't know! You have a son. A beautiful son. You don't know what this is like! You have Jake too. I have no one."

She looks hurt.

"You have me."

I sit down and start crying.

"I want Michael."

"I know you do." She sits next to me. "He's allowed visitors tomorrow isn't he?"

"I don't know if I can bring myself to tell him."

"It will be hard, but you have to."

"This won't be good for his progress though."

"Layla that was his child too. He needs to know."

I sigh and stand up.

"I'm going to lay down for a while."

"Do you want something to drink before? Water? Hot chocolate?"

"I'm ok." I shake my head and slowly walk out of the kitchen.

On my way out I notice my pregnancy scan. I slowly pick it up as tears roll down my face. I stare at the scan walking up stairs to my bedroom. I shut the door and lay on the bed crying.

"I'm so sorry." I say stroking the scan. "I should have been better. I'll always love you and I'll never forget you." I kiss the picture and hold it close to me as I cry harder.

I slowly blink my sore eyes, waking up. I must have cried myself to sleep. I sit up and look at the alarm. It's 6am. I look down at the pregnancy scan next to my pillow. I pick it up and stare at it again. I want to cry, but for some reason I can't. It's like I've cried every possible tear I could. I lay back, trying to convince myself what happened to my baby wasn't real. I eventually get out of bed and go out in to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and stand under the water for a while.

I think about Michael. I want to see him today, but at the same time I don't. I can't bare to tell him the bad news. I shower and then get out, going back in to my room. I slowly get ready and then walk downstairs. I walk past the living room and see Zack watching TV with Jake. Jake notices me and walks over.