Merry Emo Christmas!☆Many Ships Included

3☆I'll be home (Ryden)

Brendons pov:

I miss him so damn much.

I took a look at all the Polaroids in my hands and just sobbed. Why did I let him go? He was my first crush I ever had and we had a great time in high school. But we had to separate our ways.

Because we didn't want to stand in each other's way.

I wanted to make music, he didn't.

He didn't like the attention he got and he just wanted to leave it as a simple hobby. Instead of that he probably is doing something different, build up a life, probably has a family or a boyfriend, and already forgot me.

And I just sat here, dreaming of the good old days, wanting them to come again.

A tear was falling on one of the photos.

The only thing I had were the girls and boys running after me, but none of them really loved me, well at least not the way he did.

I would trade all of this just for one more day with Ryan.

Do anything to just see his smile again.

Christmas is the time of the year where you should be with the people you love, the ones who love you.

I have many people who adore me, but no one who loves me.

A small Christmas tree was standing in the middle of the room. I think it just stands there, because I wanted to feel the Christmas vibes at least a bit.
It didn't really help but to miss everything I ever had.

I had to do something.

I had to go to him.

I know it's Christmas, but the only person I love isn't here.

I pulled out my laptop and started researching. Maybe I would find him...

☆

I put on my best button up shirt and a blazer, with a winter jacket on, it was still cold outside. I hoped this was the address I would find him. It was the address of a small cafe, he probably works at.

Please let him be there.

I cleaned up my face, because I didn't really wanna show up with tear streams on my cheeks.

"Hey, where are you going?", my manager asked on my way, but I just rolled my eyes, saying; "visiting someone."

"No, you're going nowhere! You have a little christmas concert in three hours, you can't just go", he said, wanting pull me inside my apartment again, but I was faster.

"You can search for another one, I need to go somewhere", I said before turning around.

I just heard him screaming:"you know, the world doesnt always surround around you."

I tried to ignore him and when I finally breathed the cold and fresh air, I began to smile slightly.  Haven't smiled in a while honestly.

Then I made my way over to my car, sitting down and just taking a deep, but breath. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he had another one? Maybe my manager was right and I should care less about myself.

I didn't know, but I knew that I wanted to see Ryan so bad. I wanted to hug him again, see his smile again.

I started the motor and made my way to the person I once loved.

☆

It started to snow. The white, glittery snow fell down on the earth, making it way more beautiful, like you were driving through the magic world you were dreaming of as a kid. Everything seems to be more alive than usual and you think you can believe again. Just by seeing such a location.