The cold, freezing winter weather didn't help at all. I was feeling like I was starting to become an ice cube. I made my way down the street, trying to distract myself with the falling snow, meeting the ground gracefully.
The tear streams already turned into ice streams, at least that's what it felt like. It was already getting dark, really dark, even at this time.
The only thing lightening my way were the lanterns, with its warm light, shining on the white blanket of little snowflakes.
Actually a pretty sight.
The only thing I miss his him.
The funny thing is, I hate him, but I still wanna be near him, weird right?
He never really liked this season, it was always too cold for him, but I felt comfortable.
Some people were walking past me, with a pack of presents in their arms.
I will probably spend my Christmas outside in the cold if I don't get somewhere quickly. Actually I didn't quite feel like being somewhere.
I felt like I wasn't really missing somewhere, I felt like I didn't need a place to stay, because my head didn't belong to any place.
Actually I like Christmas. The smell of mums cookies streaming through the whole house was just something I loved about Christmas.
Then suddenly I heard loud footsteps behind me.
I knew who was running behind my back, but I didn't want to turn around, I just wanted to be alone, why can't he understand that?
I tried to ignore him and kept going but soon I felt a hand in my shoulder.
I sighed and turned around and not to my surprise I saw frank standing in the snow.
"Gerard wait", he said, out of breath, "I'm sorry."
I just shook my head, not wanting to discuss this, and turned around wanting to go away from him.
"Go away", I mumbled, continue walking.
"I know I fucked up, but can we please move on again?", he asked, nearly pleading me to turn around.
"Why should we?", I asked, turning my attention to him. Now I saw the tear streams on his face, the red nose and eyes. He was crying.
"Because I need you! I can't live without you, just give me a chance to explain myself. It's Christmas for god sakes! We should be inside a house, in front of a Christmas tree, with cacao and presents and frank Sinatra silently singing in the distance! But you are running away from me, please, I don't wanna fight on Christmas, and you also don't!", Frank said, his eyes shimmering from tears.
He laid his hand on my shoulder and smiled sadly, "please, gerard."
"You hurt me, Frank", I whispered looking at the snow, slowly falling down on the empty street.
"I know and I'm sorry, I'll do everything to make you believe that I mean it", he said, "will you give me a chance?"
I played with the hem of my shirt, while looking at my feed. I don't know if I can forgive him that easily, but I also don't know if I can get it over my heart if I let him just stand here.
It's Christmas for god sakes, I don't wanna fight on Christmas!
I lifted my head and wiped the few tears away and nod my head. His eyes lit up and he wrapped his arms around me.
"I love you, gerard", he whispered into my ear, causing me to grin bright.
"I love you too", I responded.
"Well then", he began, "What about we go home and celebrate Christmas?"
"This would be a good idea", I said, shaking from the cold air around us.
"Here, baby it's cold outside", Frank said, pulling me closer to him.
I immediatly smelled his perfume, which always managed to relax me.
So we walked home on the Christmas night, the snow falling down elegant in front of us and I couldn't help but to smile the whole way...
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