"Hey Loki, what's your favourite colour?" You poked Loki's shoulder continuously to get him to entertain you. You and him were stuck in some back woods space prison because Loki is a thief.
"Please shut up y/n." Loki snapped at you for the seventeenth time in the past thirty minutes.
"I'm about a four on the Loki scale right now." You muttered under your breath while starring into the distance. (Please refer to the attached photo.)
"What the Shit is wrong with my best friend? She's talking to walls now." Loki asked the air ironically.
"Oh shove it you space whore, you don't have to be so grouchy, we only have to wait until Thor picks us up or Peter (Quill)." You shoved him lightly to get him to lighten up. He only frowned at you in return.
"Thor will make us sit here for a few days to watch us sweat and Peter will only grab you because that mortal hates me." Loki pouted/ranted to you.
"Nuh uh! Thor loves us he'll pick us up and if he doesn't we can kick his ass together!" You leaned on Loki's shoulder, waiting for our savior.
~~~5 heures later~~~
"Loki! Y/n! What the FuCk?!" You both awoke to the sound of Thor screaming at you from the other side of your cell. You both just waved sheepishly at him in hopes he would calm down enough not to kill you guys.
"It was an accident?" Loki Half stated- half asked. Thor's jaw hit the floor in anger, you slowly moved further away from both Thor and Loki, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.
"Thievery is not an accident you IMBECILE!" Thor roared, he had just gotten the cell opened and you slid past Thor, escaping your cell and him.
"Don't you dare try to escape, love." Thor pointed at you quickly halting your actions. You just smiled at him sheepishly knowing he would only scold you a little bit. Loki stuck his tongue out at you over Thor's shoulder.
"You little asshole! I went along with your scheme (it took me forever to spell that and now I feel like an idiot.) to steal from the Garnet government!" You pointed at him, trying unsuccessfully to scare him. Just then a Garnet guard approached you three and told you guys to leave.
"Now I don't wanna leave." You complained defiantly. Thor and Loki groaned at your need to go against anything anyone tells you to do.
"Y/n... i will not hesitate to throw you over my shoulder." Thor warned you slowly.
You looked him dead in the eyes, a rebellious fire burning in yours before speaking loudly, "No balls."
Thor instantly went after you, leaving Loki alone to cackle at your antics. The guards only glanced at you three in annoyance, hoping you three would leave. Thor eventually grabbed you, throwing you over his shoulder before getting Loki.
"Time to go, now." Thor used his mom voice on you guys while you three exited the jail. You were still pouting on his shoulder.
"You know Thor, you do have a nice ass." You commented while looking down at it, causing both men to scoff at your feeble attempts of escaping.
"I know."
"Fine then be that way." You mumbled before hitting his shoulder roughly and flipping off him, landing perfectly. Thor and Loki looked mildly surprised. "Let's go boys, I'm hungry and I haven't seen Valkyrie in days."
~~~ Time skip cause I'm lazy ~~~
"Y/n i haven't seen you since Loki kidnapped you from training. Where have you been?" Lady Sif yelled to you the second she laid eyes on you, which happened to be in the middle of the courtyard with almost the entire kingdom there.
"Lady y/n, you're finally back! Just in time to finally say yes to my offer of a date." Fandral made another attempt at getting in your pants.
You decided to ignore him and continue talking with Sif. "I was sitting in a Garnet prison with Loki because he's an asshole kleptomaniac."
"I didn't hear a no." Fandral interrupted your conversation yet again.
"Well then here it is, no." You spoke loudly and clearly, trying to get it through his skull. He looked mildly discouraged for a split second before trying again.
"You didn't even think about it." Fandral put his hand on your shoulder, Sif sighed heavily know her best female friend was about to take down her colleague.
"Oh I thought about it, and it's still a no." You tried one last time, his grip only tightened with every one of your words. You sighed heavily before grabbing his forearm and pulling him over you in Sif's direction, she had already move out of the way allowing his body to slam into the ground. He blinked in shock, staying there because of the pain in his spine.
"If you EVER touch me again I will cave you skull in." You promised before walking away with Sif.
"Holy Shit." Fandral breathed in fear, trying to get up, only to wince in pain. Thor who did not see a thing, rushed over to help his friend up.
"What happened to you?" Thor asked concerned. He glanced at the concrete Fandral was previously laying on to see it cracked.
"I tried to ask y/n out again." He muttered, ashamed. Thor laughed at his friend loudly.
"She hates you Fandral, in what realm would she ever say yes?" Thor questioned. Thor secretly had a massive crush on you so he was glad you didn't like Fandral.
"I don't know, it was wishful thinking," Fandral pauses to crack his back, "too bad she only has eyes for you." Thor's head snapped to look at him.
"What? You didn't notice her adoring glances?" Fandral continues, "or the fact that she blushes anytime you even brush against her? Or her constant need to protect you in battle? Ooh! Or her rejecting literally any guy that so much as glances in her direction?"
"Well I'll be damned to hel..." Thor muttered as he realised you reciprocated his feelings towards you.
"I have to go talk to her now!" Thor immediately started running away from Fandral.
"She went the other way!" Fandral shouted, pointing towards where you and Sif went.
"Knew that, wanted to see if you did."
~~~ time skip brought to you by Tom Holland cross dressing and grinding against an umbrella ~~~
"Y/n!" Thor yelled across the training field, "I need to talk to you!"
"Then talk!" You yelled back, trying to focus on your sparring session with Loki.
"Not here, in private!" Thor persisted.
"For fucks' sake." You muttered as you quickly pinned down Loki with a triumphant smirk. "I'll be back to kick your ass again." You pointed down at him before running towards Thor. When you were next to him he instantly started walking towards to castle.
"Jesus tap dancing Christ Thor what's so important?" You groaned when he finally stopped in a secluded corner.
"I'm fairly certain I'm in love with you!" He suddenly yelled, taking you by surprise.
"Well I'll be damned I'm in love with you." You spoke, surprised with Thor. You never thought he would like you. You were a warrior, you didn't have the best manners, and you were dangerously close to being an alcoholic.
"Oh thank the gods." Thor smiled before he kissed you.
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