Not everything in life goes as planned. You're gonna have downfalls which can knock you down pretty far. But it's only up to you to pick yourself up. No one controls you but you.
We all make stupid decisions that we're gonna later regret. I had to set myself back into reality. This was real.
What I was going through changed my life forever. Not saying it's a bad thing to have a baby at my age, but it's just too soon.
After my makeout session with Miles I realized something.
Life is too short to hold things against people. Especially who you love. When you love a person so much you'll do anything just to make the relationship work.
I don't forgive Stokeley yet and I'm not ready to talk to him. I just let myself get too upset about the situation when I can be enjoying life. I'll talk to him when my heart tells me to.
Jahseh and Stokeley were coming back to Florida tomorrow. I was not ready at all.
My phone has been vibrating all night cause of two people.
Stokeley and Miles.
I could tell Miles really enjoyed our kiss. He's being sweeter than ever and I really love it. My heart belonged with Stokeley but my mind was telling me otherwise.
I don't understand how I'm not still angry at him. Maybe it's not worth my anger to be acting a fool. Maybe I'm maturing more. Everything happens for a reason.
*Fast foward the next day*
I felt bad for not letting my big brother Chris know right away that Stokeley cheated on me. I kept trying to tell him, but I would just freeze up. I don't want anyone getting hurt and Chris is good for hurting people to protect who he loves.
The right thing for me to do is tell him. I want to always be honest with my brother.
I sat down on my bed staring at the ceiling. My arms were crossed and I was thinking about a lot of things. I was so overwhelmed with thoughts.
As I was thinking Chris walked in. It can't be a coincidence considering the fact that I was just thinking about telling him about Stokeley.
He sat down on my bed and looked at me.
"Shay be honest with me. Are you really okay? Doesn't seem like it. I know you. You're my flesh and blood. Ever since mom and dad died I've looked after you two as if I were ya dad. Talk to me." He said.
"Don't go crazy when I tell you this, b-."
"Stokeley cheated huh? Imma beat that nigga ass best believe that shit." Chris said standing up and balling his fist up.
"How the hell you figured that out?"
"I can analyze you Sasha. You ain't seen Stokeley in a week. You always talk about him but you've barely said anything. Trust me Shay I just know."
"Damn. But please don't beat his ass. I got this bro. I don't want any mess as it is."
"Fuck. Fine I won't beat that ass , this time! But next time I ain't making no promises."
Well shit if he can analyze me like that then he basically knows everything.
Today was the day that Stokeley and Jahseh came back. I wasn't ready at all.
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