My 18th birthday was approaching. Miles and I have made things official and I was doing great. I still think about Stokeley though. I am carrying a piece of him inside me.
I try not to think about the negatives though. I want to throw a big swimming pool party. My parents were owners of this big house with this big swimming pool. Before they died, they put it in Chris' name so we can still have the house. Since Chris' name is in it, that means I can use it for my party.
I need to plan things with Chris and post my invitation on Instagram so people can come. It's big and it's my 18th so why not go all out for it?
"Your cake day coming lil sis. What you tryna do?" Chris said sneaking up on me in my room.
"Yeah what you doing? Cause I wanna come. You don't think I know the things y'all grown people do? I want in." Sean said walking behind him.
"I don't know if you can come. You're just in middle school Sean, this swimming party is going to have a whole bunch of high schoolers and people in college." I said.
"Well Chris owns the place, I don't have to swim. I can stay inside and play my games with some of my friends." He said.
"Oh you want a swimming pool party? That's no problem, just as long as I get to come."
"Alright alright everyone invited just don't embarrass me."
Chris and Sean leaned in to give me a big hug.
"We love you." They said.
*Fast forward 5 hours later* I decided to go over to Miles' house to let him know what I had planned.
I posted my invitation on Instagram. A lot of people wanted to come. I got hundreds of comments, texts and dms.
@Yungboitrunks: I'm for sure coming. Fucking count me in.
@wifisfuneral: Thanks for the invite, imma pull up.
@lilpump: Eskeeit. Hell yeah.😝
@denzelcurryph: BET
@xxxtentacion: fuck yeah. 🤟🏾
@theslumpgod: :)
I stopped right there.
Stokeley commented a smiley face on my invitation which meant he was going to show up. Stokeley and I are friends, but after our breakup things haven't been the same and I don't know if I can face him.
"What's wrong?" Miles said.
"Mm nothing." I said looking away.
"You sure? You can't even look me in my eye, look at me and tell me there's nothing wrong."
I didn't look at him because deep down inside there was something wrong. I have someone sitting in front of me who cares about me and how I feel. But I'm thinking of my ex, the person who hurt me.
"Yeah I knew it. You mind telling me?"
I ignored him.
"Sasha? You hear me? Don't ignore me cause I have a mean side and I know you don't wanna see it. I really like you. Just tell me."
"Stokeley's coming to my party okay. Now leave me alone!" I said while getting up.
I walked into the kitchen to find something to eat. Stress eating was calling my name.
He got up and followed me into the kitchen.
"And so why does that bother you?" He said.
I got so angry that I started hitting Miles in the chest while he kept backing up.
"Miles are you clueless? Did you forget I am pregnant with his child? Did you forget I dated him? Did you forget you signed up for this when we started dating? I fucking swear you're hitting my nerves!"
Miles grabbed my hands and began holding my body tight and pulled me to the floor.
"Fucking let me go!"
"You tripping right now. I'm not gonna let you go until you calm the hell down. For fucks sake I'm sorry got dammit! I'm just trying to check on my girl to see if things are okay. What the hell is wrong with you?" He said.
I've never seen Miles like this before. His voice was so demanding, but it made me get my act together.
"I think it's my hormones."
"Your what?"
"My hormones Miles. It changes my moods."
"That explains why you've been so moody. But don't ever do this again Sasha. You scared me. I really love and care for you. If you wanna talk about how you feel, don't hit me, talk baby."
My heart began to feel soft after his words. He knows how to work his way into my heart. My weakness dealing with boys is the sweet talking. I absolutely love it.
Miles got up off the floor and helped get me up. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I was about to walk away, but he grabbed me by my waist and started kissing me on my lips.
"I love you." I said.
"I'm gonna make sure you have a good birthday." He said.
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