Golden Birds

Chapter twelve

Still in her mum's perspective

I woke up in my normal hospital bed my beside clock flashed 7:32, my eyes were sore and my brain didn't work at all. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but Kayla kept on hopping into my mind. Her gorgeous brunette hair place over her golden brown shoulders and her hazelnut eyes, which always sparkle when the sun hits then. How I missed the days I had long hair to mess around with and tie up in very strange hair styles, then a fluster shot up my body and I remember how I had survived one lot of cancer but then who was to say with the second lot of cancer wouldn't get me; at that moment the threats were still high that I would, well not survive.

Eventually I did fall asleep and when I woke the time was 11:46, I had missed breakfast but I did not mind. My doctor came in, he drew the curtain round my bed and told me '[he] thought [I] would like to hear this in private'. That meant it was bad so I replied 'do I have to know'; he laughed and cleared his throat: "Mrs Samuels of course I have to tell you it's part of my job." my face went blank. "Your family will soon be here but I wanted to tell u alone first." I swallowed, I felt my heart sink to my feet; my face puffed up and went red, as tears started to trickle down. "Mrs Samuels I haven't even begun to explain!" he voice seemed to be getting more agitated.

"I know but it how you say it that tells me it's bad news."

He took a deep breathe, "Mrs Samuels," his voice relaxing. "I am sorry but the operation didn't work." tears poured down my face. "Your family will be here soon."

"BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW IT DIDN"T WORK!" I blurted out through my tears.

"We took an x-ray just after your operation yesterday to see if we had succeeded..."

"Perform another operation do something, you can't give up now!"

"Mrs..."

"DON'T MRS ME!"

"Please calm down Martha."

"I'VE GOT A FAMILY WHO NEED ME, YOU've got to fix me." I berried my head in my arms and sobbed.

"We have done all we can Mrs, umm sorry, Martha."

"My family can't see me like this. NO ONE can see me like this."

"We advise you let your family visit. We will tell the news before they come in if you want so you don't have to hear it againt."

"Yeah ok." I paused and the doctor was just about to leave as I caught my breathe. "I am sorry Doctor."

"It's fine, it is a lot to take in."

~•~

I heard Jacobs voice before anyone else's, my curtain was still drawn; when the doctor walked in he asked if I was ready to see them, I nodded. Kayla ran in first and hugged me, her warm hands wrapped around me as her cold necklace pressed against my chest; then Jacob followed and then Vaughn slowly, walked in last.

"Mum." Kayla said, tears to her eyes. "I will always love you..." she stood back up and clenched the necklace. "This, this necklace will remind me you will always watch over me. I want to thank you..." she continued. "For everything that you have done..." now tears, no matter how hard she seemed to try to stop them, drizzled down her face.

"Stop!" I said. "I know how much you love me. I know that you are grateful for everything that I did, and I promise you I will alway watch over you but you know that, I know that, your dad knows that so lets spend the last moment together being happy." I smiled, "You can blabber on about me at my funeral, let's not waste the time we have now." I wiped away Kayla's tears and kissed her cheek. "You can say your  goodbyes when you leave. Now, how are you both getting on at school?"

Vaughn stepped forward, "Hi mum. You my school rugby team."

"Yes!"

"We won finals against The Palors." his smile seemed to go from one ear to the other and it was as though everyone had forgotten I was dying; it was wonderful.

~•~

The time came when they all had to leave, I could see Kayla fighting back tears and Vaughn dared not to make eye contact with me incase he cried as well. Vaughn was the first to say goodbye, he came up to the bed "Mum..." he said. "I love you to pieces and back together again. I really don't want to loose you."

I looked at him "You are not going to loose me, I will always be right here." I pointed to his heart. "When you are playing rugby or just about to sit an exam I will be right beside you and even though you won't be able to see me, you will know I am there." My tear ducts filled as he softly kissed me on the cheek. Kayla was the next to say goodbye.

"..." she just looked at me for a while, then came and knelt beside me. "Is this really the last time I will ever see you! Is this really the last time I will ever hear you speak!" her mouth trembled and her eyes weeped. "You can't go, there is so much we haven't experienced together yet. Who am I meant to come home and cuddle when things go wrong. Who... Who..." she stuttered, "Oh mum, you are the closest person to me. You are not only my mum but a best friend that I can't live without. You have to get through this."

"Kayla it's too late, sweetie." both of us masked in tears.

"BUT I NEED YOU!"

"I will always be there for you, just in a different way to what you are used to."

"But, mum..."

"If I had a choice I would stay." she leaned over and squeezed me.

"I love you more than anyone or anything in this world could ever love you!" she whispered into my ear just before she kissed me on the forehead. "Bye mum!" Jacob was last to say goodbye. The others stood out in the hall waiting for him.

"Hi darling, remember the first time we met. In a park in the middle of autumn. Leaves all around us, the sun shining down on us. Do you remember?"

"Of course I do."

"Think of that place when you're down."

"I will!"

"I love you Martha, we all do and we will all miss you."

~•~

The room was full of orange light, the doctor had pulled back the curtain when they all left. My breathe grew heavy, my eye lids shut, my body felt cold and shivery. Then everything went dark and as I breathed in everything seemed to fill with light and my whole body felt like a feather, then I couldn't feel anything. I seemed to drift up.

I wanted my family to know I loved them to pieces.

Everything was so peaceful.

So calm.

I just let my self go.