The First Chance (Niall and twin Payne's Liam and Leeroy

Niall's story

A/N There are triggers in here. The main one is rape. This is going into Niall's backstory and he is telling Louis all of this. Do not continue to read if this can be a problem for you. There is also mention of suicide. Again do not read if this will trigger you.

Niall's POV

      I struggle to catch my breath for a moment. When I look up I see the concern in Louis' eyes. My eyes are still swimming in tear but I finally manage to start to talk, "It all started 2 years ago...

I was just joking around with some of my friends. The topic of gay guys came up and at that point I knew I was into guys and not girls and I was close enough to my 4 friends to come out and say that I was gay. I also said that I hadn't come out to my parents. My friends were totally okay with that and said they would support me. One of them even said that they were gay as well. Shortly after that we started dating and it was amazing. 

       It wasn't until about four months into us dating that things got really weird between Sean and I. Really it was between all my friends and I. I thought nothing of it though. I just thought it was a phase that Sean and I were going through. Until I walk into school one day and I see Sean snogging a girl. My heart broke. I stormed up to him and demanded, "What do you think you are doing? I thought we were together!" He gives a sneer and says, "Why would anyone want to be with a fag like you? You're disgusting. No one wants t you around so you should just go kill yourself." I was devastated when I heard what he said, but decided to stay strong and not go and do anything stupid. At this point I still thought me other friends didn't know about Sean cheating on me. I didn't know that they were in on it. When I went to talk to them during lunch they just laughed at me and told me to leave them alone. They didn't want to deal with a fag. It was the first time I ate lunch alone, in the bathroom to boot. " I paused to catch my breath and saw Louis just listening. There were tears in his eyes at what I was saying though. After all I had been betrayed by the people that had been my friends. I take a shaky breath before continuing, "Not much happened for the rest of the year. I was mainly ignored or just shoved into the walls and lockers by a lot of the athletes at school. I was forced to quit my football team because the bullying there was the worst. I didn't know what to tell my parents. When school got out I was relieved. I was hoping the next year would be better. I met some new friends and was walking home from spending time with Ashton when I was all of the sudden pulled into an allyway. There was Sean, James, Theron, Neal and Ryan: my former best friends. They were sneering at me in a very ugly way. Neal and Ryan grabbed my arms tightly and dragged me farther into the allyway. They pushed me roughly against the wall before tearing me pants and boxers down me legs. I could hear their zippers being undone and next thing I knew there was massive and intense pain up my bum. Once I realized what they were doing I was trying to scream for help but me mouth was covered. I fell to the ground as they continued to take turns raping me. I was sobbing uncontrollably while they were raping me. When they were done using me Sean told me that I was worthless and I should just kill myself. 

         Once I managed to get off the ground and pull me boxers and pants up, I limped home. Thankfully my parents weren't up to see me come in bloody and bruised. I went to take a shower and clean meself up a bit. I was still terrified though. I had never been more terrified in my life. I felt useless and used. the next day I just stayed in my room. My mum tried to get me to come out, but I refused. That night I went into my bathroom and looked at my blades, I decided to give up on life. I started a bath and got in still playing with the blade. Once the water reached a certain level I slit my first wrist. It hurt, but I was determined to end my pathetic life. I quickly slit my other one and was slowly bleeding out. I was still fully clothed. My brother was home for some reason and walked into the bathroom just as I passed out. I guess he just started screaming for my parents as he dragged my unconscious body from the water. He managed to get my wrists to stop bleeding while we were enroute to the hospital. They had no idea why I would try to end my life. I woke up 3 days later in a complete daze and I was scared and confused. I saw my mum sitting next to me in tears and looking tired. I managed to croak out "Mum?" She looked up and I saw how happy she was that I was finally awake and then called the doctor in. I was put on suicide watch for a week since I had lost a lot of blood when I first slit my wrists." I pause for a moment before showing Louis my inner wrists where my scars still are. I saw the tears streaming down his face and hesitated to say the next thing, "That wasn't the only time I tried to commit suicide. The last time I did was after a particularly hard day at school. I came home and went straight to the bathroom and started to fill the tub again. I slit my wrists again and nearly passed out because of the blood loss. Once I was cleared my parents asked me what this was all about and I said I was being bullied at school because I was gay. They looked at me with nothing but love in their eyes. I knew that they accepted me and were going to help me. I made it through the year but continued to cut just made it much more secretive and in harder to see places. At the end of the year my parents decided to move as my dad also got a job offer here in Wolverhampton and it was a chance for me to start new." I am trembling by the time I finish and am steadily crying. I knew my accent came out more as I was being more emotional than usual. Louis just hugged me before saying, "I'm so sorry you had to go through all this Niall. You are an amazing guy and athlete. You'll find the right person when the time is right." I give a watery smile before turning back to my homework before realizing that it's not going to get done. I turn to Louis before saying, "Hey Lou? I'm going to head home because I'm not going to get anything else done today. Thank you for letting me tell you my story." He sets his homework aside before reaching to give me another hug. 

       As I leave I feel a weight is off my shoulders. Now someone knows my story and wasn't disgusted with me. It gave me hope for the first time in almost 2 years. For the first time in just as much time I feel giddy and like what happened to me does not define me.

A/N I know this was a heavy chapter. Don't worry the next one will be lighter but still now you know why Niall seems to want more confirmation before doing certain things. Can I get 3 comments before I post my next update? I would like to know what people think of this chapter.