My Unofficial Girlfriend (JENLISA - COMPLETED)

17. Nightmares

♥LISA POV♥

"Dammit...!!" I mumbled as slowly sitting on my bed

My thoughts were in a mess. Imagine how Alice died and who was behind everything that happened completely destroying my heart, I hate this feeling, I'm happy but sad at the same time, its feel like drowning, like my chest was out of breath. I take my breath for a few seconds, feeling my eyes fill with tears. That overwhelming emotional filled me again, causing the worst uncontrolled anger and pain inside me.

It wasn't the first time that happened. Even after 13 year after the night of Alice dead, that moment still tormented me. The nightmares feel so real, they appeared everytime I thought or talked about what had happened.

I'm crying painfully again. I shook my head trying to control the feeling that torture my mind. I took a deep breath, inhaling as much as possible to relax my mind from unwarranted anger.

I wiped away my tears then got up from the bed, I feel a little dizzy. I held onto the bedside table and when I felt better, I walked out chasing Jennie but she had left.

"I'm sorry Jennie" I said as sitting slowly on the sofa while massages my forehead

I should not tell this to anyone, I thought I will be able to fight this feeling, but I'm wrong. I just can't. This trauma, all the nightmares, feels like it's going to kill me as soon as possible, feels like I should die or kill myself instead.

Kill yourself, kill yourself Lisa, you deserve a death, not only Alice, you should die too

"Get out of my head" I shouted hitting my head hard continuously

I closed my eyes, pushing those memories away from my mind. I hated to remember how painful that moment was. I felt lost, I even thought about how God had been unfair.

"If I meet you in another life, I won't let this happen again, I promise, I miss you Alice" I said weakly

*The Next Day*

I stopped my car in the parking lot, I took a deep breath and exhaled it. I was so nervous to meet Jennie, I wanted apologize for disappointing her last night, I was very sorry to say that words to her but I really couldn't control myself. I shouldn't say that to her. I know I hurt her feeling, I didn't mean it. I am stupid.

I was about to get out from my car but then I saw Jennie walking towards a blue car that make my heart drop and heavier she was with Nayeon.

I opened my car door quickly and ran approached her, she was about to open the car door

"Jenniee!!!" I called her, she turned her body to face me and looked at me instantly

"Where are you going?" I said looked at her and glance at Nayeon for a moment

"Lunch" She said coldly "Umm Nayeon ah, can you get into the car first?" She added

After Nayeon entered the car, Jennie looked at me silently

"Mhmm.. I'm sorry for what happened last night, I am so stupid for saying that to you. I just can't control my self. Please forgive me Jennie" I said looked straight at her eyes

"Its okay, I can't blame you for not trusting me" She said coldly

"No Jennie, is not like that, it's just that..." I said but she cut me off

"It's just that you don't trust me that's why you regretted for telling me your past" She said as turned her body but I held her arm quickly