Letters For You

Wedding Day

July 8th, 2031

What am I doing Oli? Would you have let me do this? Today should be the most wonderful day in my life. Can you see me? In my long white dress, with my hair up and my nails done. I am not going to talk about my make-up. My mother is in the parking lot, running after the make-up artist. Let's hope that she is not already gone because no one but a professional would be able to clean up the mess on my face. Fifteen minutes ago, I looked perfect. Then, your family walked in the dressing room. Your mother, your father and your sister with her boyfriend, they all came. They are living their son's wedding by procuration they said. Your father even bought me roses. He went to the same store you used to, he said. They were your roses. I cried. I ruined all Sarah, the make-up artist's, work. Seeing them made me doubt myself. What was I doing? I am marrying a wonderful, magnificent man that is not you. When I used to think about a wedding, it was always ours. You and me, not me and someone else because you're dead.

Tell me Oli. Tell me that I am doing the right thing. Tell me that it's okay, that I am not betraying you. Tell me that you love me anyway, that you always will. Tell me that you can see in Josh's mind and that he loves me as much as you did. Please, Oli. Tell me. Tell me that you are not angry with me, please. That's the one thing I wouldn't be able to bear. That and disappointing you. I don't ever want to do that. I'll give you a moment. Tell me anything. Please.

How did you do that? Was it you? Did you poke her or anything? Olivia just woke up. She wasn't supposed to just yet. She usually sleeps for two hours before waking, but it's just been thirty minutes since she fell asleep. Even if that wasn't you, thank you. I just had to look at her to get my answer. I am doing the right thing, you do love me. How could you not when you gave me this precious little girl five months ago? Thank you, Oli. You were always good at calming me, at reassuring me.

Someone's knocking on the door, it's probably my mother with the poor Sarah. She doesn't know what she is about to face. Do you let me finish this letter later? Right now, I need to go get married to a wonderful man who isn't you but that's okay. It's more than okay.

***

Thank you, Oli. We had a wonderful day and a magical night. We are now at the airport, waiting for our flight to Oahu for our honeymoon. Will you please keep an eye on Via? She is with my mother and you know how she can be with babies. Do you remember when my cousin had a baby when we were seventeen and my mom took the poor six-month-old little boy to her yoga class? Do you remember how we were the ones who took care of the him after she called us because her yoga instructor threatened to kick her out of the class? We had a great day the three of us. We stayed at the park for hours, and we went to your parent's house where your mother made some home-made purée. He is so old now, it's crazy. We celebrated his fifteenth birthday two months ago. You're going to be happy, he plays soccer just like you. The sport even got him his first girlfriend. Time is a funny thing, right? No matter what, it never stops. Time is about the only thing that doesn't wait for anyone. That and death. Or maybe death is the things that waits the most if you consider that it waits for you your whole life. It waits for the right time, or the worst in your case, to take you away.

Anyway, thank you for allowing me to move on, for giving the push I needed. As always, you are the smartest of the both of us. I'll drink champagne in your honor on the beautiful Hawaiian beaches. Love you.