minute by minute / evak

012. "Like, seriously in love"

WARNING! This chapter contains self harm.

As soon as i arrived to school, i had to find Sana. I felt like i hadn't talked with her since forever. She always finds the right words, and solves problems.

"Hallå!" I greeted her when i found her from standing front of her locker.

She turned to look at me, and her facial expression changed pretty fast. It was like she had just seen a living ghost.

"Wow. What happened to you?" Sana's friend, and Magnus's girlfriend, Vilde asked.

I was confused. I knew i looked horrible as always, but i didn't think it would be that bad. 
I remained silent.

"Nothing special. Can i borrow Sana a little?" I finally said.

Sana seemed to be worried about me. She knew when something was wrong with me.

"Wait for me before you go to class" Sana said to Vilde before we started to walk towards our school's break-room.

Break-room was a little room, where students could play PlayStation and boardgames. There was also soft chairs, where we could sit on breaks. That's why it was called "Break-room".

"So, what's wrong?" Sana asked when we sat down onto chairs.

"I don't know where to start", I said.

I felt a little piece that was stuck in my throat, and because of that i could hardly speak.

"Start from what happened", Sana said.

I took deep breaths before i started.

"Well, the thing is, that you know that i've been dating Even Bech Næsheim, from the third year. Right?"

She nodded simply.

"Yesterday i saw him kissing his ex girlfriend that he dumbed a while ago because of me. I don't know if he really wants to be with me or not." I explained.

"I'm kinda bad at giving advices on these kind of things. Break up with him then, if you can't trust him." Sana said.

"No! I can't!" I yelled back.

I was kinda over-reacting, but i couldn't just leave him. After i had realized that, one question crossed my mind.
Why i couldn't leave him?

"Why?" Sana asked, and furrowed her eyebrows.

"The thing is, that i'm in love with Even." I finally said.

"Like, seriously in love". I said after an awkward silence moment.

(noorhelm vibes)

"Okay", Sana responded.

She was clearly waiting for me to tell more about it. But i didn't know how to continue.

"And right now, nothing feels more important to me than being with him. It really scares me." I admit.

And it really made me scared how needy and hopeless can people be when they're in love. It was amazing, but at the same time it was really horrible in so many ways.
Sana thought about it for a few seconds. I waited for her to respond.

"Then just work it out. Simple as that."  She said.

I started to regret it that at first i even spoke to her about it. Her advice were lame or stupid. But, who am i to judge?

"But... No?! It's not that simple. It's like, i want him to apologize to me."
I said.

Sana rolled her eyes. Casual.