minute by minute / evak

021. "He ain't shit."

"Dear diary,

Again, something shitty happened between Even and i. Why now when everything was finally steady again?
There were rumors going around school that he had been cheating on me with Elias' friend Mikael. And who i heard it from?

Vilde. From all people it was her who told me.

I'm sitting on my bed right now and writing this, thinking how i'm so stupid for letting Even come back to my life every time something bad happens. It's 9pm already, so i think he's not coming home today. It makes me even more sad, to know that he doesn't give a shit about me that much that he would come home, so we could fix this together.

-Isak, 20.10.2016."

I heard someone knocking on our room's door. I immediately hoped it would be Even, knowing that it was wrong to think that way.

"Come in!" I yelled.

Soon the door opened, and i saw Eskild standing in my room. I rolled my eyes and closed my diary.

"What?" I asked and looked at him furrowing my eyebrows.

"You're an asshole."

"That's brand new information." I said and smiled sarcastically.

"Where is Even? I noticed he hasn't been home all day." He asked.

Great. The question that i had been avoiding as much as i could.

"I don't know. How am i supposed to know? I don't know every move he makes, literally." I said with an angry tone in my voice.

"Yeah, i get it. You don't know." Even said and laughed a little bit, but stopped when he saw that i was serious.

"But isn't he your boyfriend?"

"He ain't shit." I answered.

He looked shocked, but not different from all the people that i had seen in the school's yard today.
Eskild just stood there, staring at me like he was trying to figure me out. ?More like how i felt and what i was going through.

"You know Isak, you can't solve problems alone." He said finally after a while.

"But is it possible to solve a problem alone if one person in your life is the problem?" I said and took few deep breaths.

"How sad it may be, you have to admit that you can't save everyone. Not even the persons who you care about the most." He said.

Wise words, i thought. Eskild actually isn't one dumb person who is banging with a different guy every night.
Well, at least he's not dumb.

I nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"Just know that you're never alone. You have Noora, Linn and i." Eskild said.

"Thanks, dumbass." I said and gave him a weak smile.

"You're welcome, little guy." He answered and left my room.

I fell to the bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't help but to wonder where Even was right now. Was he with Mikael? Or only with his friends?
I really hoped he hadn't taken any drugs today. It would mess him and his thoughts up even more.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed on the table. I grabbed it, and saw that Sana was calling. I had no clue why she would call me at night. What was so important?

"Hello, Sana." I answered to the phone.

"Isak! Where are you?" She asked, and i could hear the anxiety in her voice.