Forever, Never Lasts

Chapter 9 What I Wanted

    When I woke up all I seen was brightness, then I came to my sense's and noticed I was in the hospital. When my vision became clear I seen my mother and Riley crying holding each other saying "Why? why her?" "She just got her life back and this happens" I couldn't make out which one of them were speaking but I was just glad to see them. When they noticed I was awake they rushed over to me causing my to flinch, I knew they wern't going to hurt me but the sudden movement spooked me. "Hey baby how do you feel?" asked my mother in a soft voice, she put her hand over mine waiting on me to answer. "Not to good, How long have I been out" I asked turning to see an IV in my hand. "A couple hours the doctor's said that you couldn't handle all the comotion and pain at once so you blacked out" she stated as a tear fell down her cheek "Oh baby I'm so sorry this happend to you" she sobbed on my gown, I just rubbed her head crying silently trying not to show how hurt I really was. Riley was standing at the end of my bed crying while rubbing my feet "If I would have just stayed with you..." she started but I cut her off "Don't even think about blaming yourself, you were having fun none of us knew this was going to happen" I said truthfully she just continued to cry. I then realized that one person was missing " Where's Jason?" I asked in fear he got hurt. They both looked up at me in shock "He's out in the waiting room he's hasn't left the doctor said" Riley didn't get a chance to finish because of my mom cutting her off "Riley let's not push it" mom said giving her a pointed look. "Push what I want to see him mom" I stated getting aggervated "Honey it's to soon, you should rest" she replied, I know she was looking out for me but Jason wouldn't hurt me. "Mom I need to see him" I said I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face I just need him to hold me and tell me that everyhting is gonna be alright. I tried to sit up but my whole body was sore I couldn't move without more tears coming. "Sweetie I really think it's best if you wait to see him, you just had a very tramatic thing jus happen to you" she said softly "I know he won't hurt me mom, please just let me see him and then I'll rest" I stated truthfully. Mom just nodded and went out the door.

      While mom was gone to get Jason, Riley came over to me and sat down where my mom was sitting. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed "Ray, I always knew I loved you as a sister but until tonight I didn't know what happend I just hear Jason tell Daniel that you were missing and that you said that you went to the bathroom but you never came out. Thats when Daniel told him that we seen a guy go in the girls bathroom but we didn't know that you went in we thought you were with Jason until he came up to us in a panic. We tried to open the door but it was locked so we had to get something to break it down, but by the time they go in there it was to late" she started to sob and say how sorry she was. I didn't know what to say or think this was all just like a big nightmare. Our little cry fest was over when my mom and a nurse came in, the nurse checked my vitals and asked me if I needed anything, I just shook my head. "Mom, where's Jason?" I asked, she just sighed and as the nurse left she opened the door and motioned a come here gesture. Jason walked in slowly, why was he nervous? He looked handsome than ever, he started to come near me and my throat tightened I started gripping the sheets. Calm down Ray it's just Jason he'd never hurt you. I kept repeating those words in my head as he kept coming towards me slowly. This is probabaly what my mom ment by me resting and it being to soon. "Hey babygirl" he said shyly like he was scared I'd freak out. I'm not gonna lie I was scared but I knew I had to face my fear, but I knew I had to take baby steps. I held out my hand trying to reach him, finally what seemed like forever his hand touched mine and I felt that familar tingle feeling. Jason sat down on the bed and I looked at my mother and Riley giving them the you can leave look. They seemed shocked by my gesture but they went out the door.

    After they left, I felt Jason shift on the bed he must be really nervous. "How are you feeling" he asked in concern, I tried to hide the pain in my voice "I'm fine just a little sore" I managed to get out, my voice was still hurting from last night. "I'm so sorry I left you I shouldn't have let you go to the bathroom by yourself" he said I never seen a guy cry so I was shocked to see a tear roll down his face. "Ray, I knew you were different, something worse could have happend you could be gone forever, and it be my fault" he started to cry "It's not your fault Jason, your right he could've been worse but it wasn't, you know someone very special to me once said You can't live your life on what if's" He looked up to me with tear filled eye's " Ray, I used to always say I would never fall in love again but after tonight, I should have never said never, because Ray I'm in love with you" I couldn't breathe why would a guy like him be in love with me I have nothing to offer now I'm way more broken than before and yet he tell's me he love's me.  "I didn't say that to pressure you to love me back I just want you to know where I stand and how I feel." I'll wait for you forever" he said I could hear the truth in his voice. "I don't know what love is"  I started and I seen his face fall "But I think I'm in love with you to" I said. I didn't have time to protest as his lips crashed against mine, it wasn't like the man who raped me kissed me no it was a kiss saying how much I ment to him and how much he loved me and that's all I ever wanted!