Forever, Never Lasts

Chapter 11 Forever

       After that night, I didn't talk to Jason for 3 whole days if he felt as strongly about me as I did him I knew that this was killing him to. I just told him that I needed a few days to myself, but in those few days I realized how much I missed him and how much I truly did need him. I knew that feeling this way was selfish for me to continue on with him, but I just couldn't help it I loved him, I loved Jason James and if he's ok being with someone like me that's a crazy mess than I'm going to love him with all the strength I have in me. 

      Today was Tuesday, and everyone was at school. I was in the living room with my mom, talking about things like the weather and what not. "Mom, do you believe in being in love?" I asked after things got quiet. She gave me a questioning look before she replied "Yes, sweetie I believe in being in love, I was in love with your father." she smiled and went in her own "la-la land" "but he left us mom how could you love a guy like him?"   I asked giving her a confused look.  She sighed at first I didn't think she was going to answer me but she di, "He wasn't a bad man Ray he was the life of the party, he always had girls going after him but all he seen was me and I knew that" she paused for a moment before she started again "He started drinking really bad when I got pregnant with you, and I knew  we wouldn't be his first priority, he was angry and drunk all the time I never wanted you to be around someone like that, so I told him to do the best thing for us and I wouldn't make him pay a dime" I waited as she paused again. I always knew this was a touchy subject but she never told me the details, just that things got rough. "I told him that he could give you the greatest gift and sober up or for him to leave us, it was to late though he was already an alcholic" I watched as a single tear ran down her face, and I knew she loved him alot. I dropped the subject and we just set and watched movies all day before she went to get supper cooked.

     While mom was in the kitchen cooking, I was in my room reading. I always read when I wanted to escape my mind, most kids would drink or smoke but not me I would rather read anyday. I text Riley making sure she was still bringing my schoolwork that I missed for the day it was 5 o'clock and she hadn't shown up yet. Riley: Yes, sorry I'm running late I hung out with Daniel after school I'll be there soon :) I couldn't help but think about Jason as I read her message, I used to hang out with him after school to. I don't know why I feel so unnormal and depressed today I just feel like a dirty wash cloth. I went to turn on the water in the tub I think,  I just need a nice relaxing bath that always make me feel better. I poured in the bath salts and bubble's, the candle's were the last thing I lit before I started to undress. I turned and looked in the mirror at my self this was the first time I had a chance to look at myself since that night. I had bruises and scratches all over my body where his nasty hand's were, my lip was still busted but it was healing from where he smaked my face for screaming. I shook my head getting in the tub with my eye's full of tears just looking at myself I knew I was truly broken. I tried to forget that night and just let the hot water hug my aches and bruises. My thought's were interrupted by my door opening, and in walked the guy I've been missing so much Jason. Thankfully the bubble's were covering him from seeing me, I didn't want the first time him seeing me naked be me covered in scratches and bruises. "Oh my god I'm so sorry Ray I didn't know you were bathing" he said turning around. I was wanting to just jump up and hug him but I quickly remembered that the bubble's were the only thing sheilding him from seeing me. "What are you doing here?" I asked in confusion. "Riley told me to bring your missed work since her and Daniel were a little busy, but she clearly did not tell me you were bathing" he said all to quickly. I didn't want him to feel awkward, I wanted him to be comfortable. "She didn't know I was bathing, thank you for bringing it by" I said waiting to hear his voice."How have you been, I tried texting and calling but I got no reply" he said with his back still to me. "I've been better and sorry about the messages and stuff I've tried not to talk to anyone." I stated nervously. "Yea, I figured so" he said sighing heavily. When I didn't reply he started again "Well I'm going to go help your mom with..." before he could finish his sentence I cutt him off "Please stay I've missed you" I stated truthfully. "Well I'll just go in your room and wait until you finish up" he said heading towards my room. My bath water was cooling down anyways so I got out and started to dry off before heading to my room.

       Once I was dressed and ready I sat on the bed next to Jason just staring at him trying to take in all his features. "I've missed you to" I quirked an eyebrow in question "Just in case you were wondering I missed you so much Ray" he said shyly like he was scared I was going to tell him I just wanted to be friends or something. I smiled warmly at him but didn't reply, "Have you thought about this" he started motioning between the two of us. I nodded "I'm sorry it took so long to think but my head was all jumbled up and I just couldn't face reality at that moment." I explained, he waited for me to finish most likely thinking the worst. "I realized that in the time we had apart how much I need you in my life, Jason I'm in love with you and I don't wanna think about spending another day without you" I barley got to finish my sentence before he crashed his lips to mine "Oh baby, I love you sooo much I'm so sorry this happend to you" he said without breaking contact. Mom called us down shortly after out makeout session "Are you staying for dinner?" I asked hoping to hear that he was "Yea I am baby" he smiled at me with passion I could honestly see how much he truly loved me with just one look in his eyes. 

     We had such an amazing time at dinner laughing and talking about the most basic stuff. When Jason had to go I told mom that I was going to walk him to his car, she just nodded in response. This was the first time that I've been outside since coming home from the hospital and I couldn't explain how good it felt. We made it to his car with a gentle wind blowing around us. "I had a great time, sorry again for walking in on you earlier" he stated sheepishly I just smiled "It's ok you didn't know" at this point I was glad it was dark out so that the pink of my cheeks wouldn't give away my embaressment. "I love you, I'm glad you chose to let be in your life" he said brushing a piece of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear. He started to lean in, I smiled at how perfect he was watching the moonlight dancing over his milkey skin. Our lips pressed together like a magnet, he lips were so warm and smoothe. The kiss was slow and sweet, until he pulled away and I just wasn't ready to stop kissing him yet, pulling his lips back to mine I kissed him with such passion not to hard though. He reacted just the way I wanted, he pushed me up against the hood of his truck kissing him with all I had showing him how much I missed him how much I needed him. He ran his hand's down my waist before picking me up and sitting me on the hood of his truck so he could get better access to my neck. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips at the feeling of his mouth on my neck. I wanted him so bad, this wasn't anything like that horrid night at the party. I knew Jason would never hurt me, that was a fact. 

     Soon after Jason left I helped mom clean up and went up to my room. Just as I got ready for bed I saw my screen on my phone light up.  Jason: Sweetdreams babygirl so glad I got to c you ;) ;*  I smiled knowing that no matter what as long as I knew he loved me, I knew that we would last forever! and with a quick goodnight text I feel asleep with Jason on my mind!

Authors Note: Hey guys I hope y'all like this chapter, I won't be updating till Sunday :( me and my family are going to the mountains and we won't have signal! Please VOTE and COMMENT! Love you guys!