Forever, Never Lasts

Chapter 14 Why?

         I didn't sleep at all that night I kept tossing and turning. I wonder if Riley has any idea of whats going on, maybe thats why she has yet to call me back. I woke up to the smell of breakfest being cooked, mom must be trying to make me feel better. I got up and went to take a nice hot shower to clear my head, as much as I didn't want to face the face I knew I had to. I dried off as the water started to run cold, I brushed my teeth buying as much time as possible before my life was gonna change. Walking into the kitchen mom was making omlets, which she knew was my favorite. I gave her a tight hug and kiss on the cheek before getting my plate. "Goodmorning sweetie, how are you feeling?" she said with a concerned look "Still a little shocked but I know what I gotta do" I mumbled while taking a bite of my delicious omlet. "Richard, called this morning wanting to know what time you would meet him and your sister?" she said slowly waiting for me to answer I gave her a sly smile, its going to take some getting used to the fact that I was going to meet the man that had left me, and the fact that I would now have a sister. I looked at the clock it was 10:00 a.m "How about at 2:00" I shrugged. She just nodded finishing her omlet as I took her plate to the sink. 

      While Mom was on the phone with Richard I knew I had to start getting ready. I tried to call Riley again but she still didn't answer me, was she mad at me? I tried to shake the thoughts away I needed to hurr up it was almost 1:00. Though I hate this man I'm about to meet I still wanted to look presentable, to show him I've done fine without him. It was 1:45 when me and Mom left the house she thought it was best if she went with me to help me through all of this. I txted Jason on the way Me: Hey, baby I miss you hopefully we can hang out soon ;* I shoved my phone in my pocket as we came to a stop by a little brick house with a blue Ford in the driveway. I started to panic I knew he never wanted me, but the reality is I've always wanted him, I remember waiting every birthday wishig he would make it. I would wait for him, I wanted the memories that girls at school have, but I was never enough. 

      I finally got the wheelpower to make my legs move out of the car and toward his door, followed by my mother. You can do this Ray, you've been through worse, I felt my Moms hands wrap me in a hug before I knocked on his door. I was about to meet the man who I've grown to hate, but in the same thought the little kid inside me was still waiting for him to be the ideal Dad I've always dreamed of. The door opened and a man in his mid-30's face showed, he looked sick. When he noticed it was me he pulled me into a hug before I could protest. This is not what I thought would happen I thought he would shun me and not want anything to do with me. I felt him start to cry "I'm so sorry baby girl...I'-mm so-o so-rr-y" he sobbed in my neck. I couldn't help the silent tears that fell down my cheeks, I hugged him back the man I blamed for not being there when I needed him, I hugged him back.

    After the little sob fest he invited us in, his house was way prettier on the inside than on the outside, alot bigger as well. I looked back at my Mom noticing the tears escaping her eyes and I could tell that she still loved him. "Would y'all like anything to drink?" he asked skeptically as if he was scared. "I'll have a water please" Mom whispered, he sent me a questioning look but I just shook my head in response. As he made his way into the kitchen, Mom sent me a sympathetic smile. I couldn't help but wonder where his other daughter was, where my sister was. He brought Mom her glass of water and sat down on the couch adjacent from us. "Why isn't my sister here?" I asked in a short tone I had a moment of weakness outside, until I thought about things realizing he doesn't deserve my respect. If he wasn't sick I doubt I would have ever met him. "She just texted me she will be here in 10 minutes" He whispered looking at me like he was shocked I was sitting on his couch. He kept staring back and forth between my Mother and I, the silence was unbareable. "Why wasn't I ever good enough?" I asked confused, I've been asking myself this question my whole life why wasn't I enough? He was about to answer until the doorbell rang, his eyes stayed on me until he headed towards the door. I was about to meet my sister I never knew I had. He cracked the door I couldn't see who the girl was, did she look like me? feel like I felt? After he hugged her he pulled the door open to invite her in. My breath caught I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I stayed staring at her my bestfriend, with the same shocked expression. Riley was my sister Riley was my sister Riley was my sister, the words kept repeating over and over again. The room started to spin "Ray, are you ok" I heard my Mothers voice echo and everything went black!