Stay with me || Shawn Mendes

11. I wish I could be a firefly.

What's wrong with people?" she says, almost too quiet for me to hear. "Were they born with parts missing or did it fall out somewhere along the way?
-Isaac Marion

~~~

After I helped Jack J. with the popcorn and all of the snacks that he wanted we took everything in our hands and walked back in the living room.

We settle everything on the coffee table and take a seat on the couch while Jack Gilinsky pickes a movie to watch.

"Would you mind if Emma goes out with my mom and Aaliyah?" I hear a familiar voice besides me. I turn my head just to see a shirtless Shawn.

Um, okay?

This is just something weird, cause he never does this, even when he is around his friends. This doesn't seem like the Shawn I know. Ever since that last day when he left me at the party with Jack he's been acting weird.
I try the hardest not to look at his toned body and keep my attention towards his face. Is it hot in here or I am the only one getting hot?

It's so hard to concentrate when you are in this kind of situation.

"I- um.S-sure why not?" I mumble and quickly looked away. I look sideways at him and see him smile.

After watching the movie, or I might add the boring movie I looke at the clock that read 5:30. Wow.

"Yo! There is this fair two blocks down the central park, do you guys wanna go?" Jack Johnson informs us while looking at his phone. He is always the one with lots of information, and he is so little and so cute!

We all nodd our heads and started cleaning everything up. Shawn goes upstairs to change and so do I.

I go into my room and get into my new pair of high waisted shorts. They aren't those kind of short shorts that makes your butt stick out, they were normal length. I match them with a cute tank top that said 'Hakuna Matata' on it. Shawn picked it for me, he said it matches my hazel eyes. I smile at that and then put on my now new converse.

I let my wavy hair down, run a hand through it and then head downstairs to find everyone ready to go.

"I love your tank top!" Jack Johnson says raising his eyebrows.

"Thank you!" I say in response and looked at Shawn while a big smile spreads across my face.

We got to the fair in no time and jump out of the car.

"Woah, there are a lot of people!" I let out a breath examining the place. My eyes scan all of the fun rides and games and all of a sudden I felt like a little child again. Excitement is written all over my face so I drag all of the boys towards the fun part. They are so slow!

•••

I am becoming dizzy from all of the rides that I've been on. And exhausted, so all of us decided to just walk around.

We are all eating ice cream and everyone is involved in their own group conversation while I was enjoying my food. The typical me.

"-I bet you can't even get those girl's number nor talk to them!" Cameron says laughing. I overhear the conversation between Shawn, Cameron and Jack Gilinsky. I eye Shawn carefully. I know he will refuse to do that. Of course, he's not like that. He wouldn't do that.
Jack Johnson is playing some game so he is nowhere near us.

I look over at the girls that they are talking. There are two girls standing there, laughing and giggling. My mouth almost drops as I look at their faces and body. Sometimes I wonder how is it even possible for people to be so perfect.

Well, no wonder the boys are looking at them. I finish my ice cream and then we stop a couple of feet away from those girls.

"I bet we can!" Shawn exclaims and I almost choke. Shawn and Jack walk over to those girls and start flirting with them. I swallow hard. I thought Shawn wasn't the kind of guy do to something like that.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

"It's surprising, cause Shawn was never that kind of guy to do something like this." Cameron says beside me as we watch them. It's like Cameron was reading my mind. I nod and uncomfortably look down, having a strange unpleasant feeling in my stomach by looking at Shawn.

"Why aren't you joining them?" I ask Cameron as he is looking around.

"I have a girlfriend, and I respect her too much to do something like this behind her back." I smile at how sweet he is. "She said she might be coming but isn't sure. I will definitely introduce you to her, I bet you two will get along very well."

"Of course!" I give him a little poke on his arm.

I turn around and see Jack and Shawn coming back while laughing. I mentally roll my eyes.

"Yo, those girls are so hot!" Jack says just as they reach us.

"And we got their numbers by the way!" Shawn says sounding proud of himself.

"Well, what can I say. I didn't expect that." Cameron says sliding his hands in his pockets, but I just stand there. I start feeling like I am invisible and nobody even knows I am here.

"Bro that blondie was just...." I hear Shawn start again but I just slowly back away from the group refusing to hear all of that. It hurt in a way.

I turn around and start walking away from them, but not so far. I go over to this little store that had different kinds of cute t-shirts and other little things.

After awhile of looking through everything I turn around, starting to walk back to the boys.
But my whole body freezes in place.

The boys aren't there anymore.

I start walking faster and looking around scanning the crowd for them. Where did they go? I don't have a phone, I don't have anything!
I walk around wondering and looking for the three boys.

After a little while, I give up. I've been searching the whole place for them, but they are nowhere to be found.

I am just walking slowly now, tired of everything. Outside is starting to get dark and the lights came on.

As I am walking slowly I stop by a little fountain to drink some water. After I finish drinking I stand properly and start making my way down to the Ferris wheel, only I stop when I see Shawn just a couple of feet away. I should be happy to see him, but the image in front of me is making everything worse. He was with a girl, her back was pressed against the wall and Shawn was over her .

I feel like someone just reached inside me, took my heart out and then threw it on the ground, breaking it all into pieces.
I quickly turn around not allowing myself to see what is going to happen next and run away as my heart turns as cold as ice.

•••

It is dark outside and I an standing away from all of the people on a bench watching tons of fireflies fly happily around.

If only I could be a firefly, so I could light my way in life and see which path I am going on. Life would be so much easier. I wouldn't feel lost.

I look down to my hands and I squeeze them together, trying to let the thought of what happened earlier disappear.

Of course that is impossible.

I stand up and start walking away, hopeless.

"Rose?!" I hear Shawn behind me, but I keep walking pretending I didn't hear him. "Rose!" He catches up with me and quickly brings me into a big hug squeezing my sides. "I was looking everywhere for you!" He lies in my face and my heart breaks once more, if that is even possible.

"Looking for me? Yeah, right." Sarcasm is ringing in my voice. "I bet you were so worried and searching the place so well, that you found that girl instead of me."