Tear in My Heart (Tyler Joseph x Reader)

chapter 2

Tyler's POV

I can't believe I actually kissed her. I have been waiting 5 years to do that. I started getting feelings for her after she ended it with her abusive ex boyfriend. I couldn't stand to see her treated so poorly, I just wanted to treat her right. I wanted to show her what she is worth, because she has no clue. She doesn't know how perfect she is, how great she is, how flawless she is, how lovely she is, how inspiring she is. She saved my life truly. I really had feelings for her and I was finally ready to show her that. I wasn't sure if she would feel the same, but I needed to do it. I talked to Josh, Mark, and my mom about it. They all told me to try. That was two years ago. I finally got the courage, after overthinking it forever. I didn't want to ruin our friendship because it truly is the best thing to ever happen to me. Even better than living my dream as a musician. She is my dream. My only goal is to be there to treat her like a queen. 

And of course, that is all down the drain now. She didn't even react when I kissed her. She didn't kiss me back, not even out of pity. And she said nothing. Not a single thing. She didn't even follow after me when I walked out. She tried to help me after I punched the cabinet, but I don't think I can look at her right now... my heart is broken in seven pieces. I laid it all out for her. 

I was walking to Josh. He was in the middle of the interview when I found him but he took one look at me and excused himself. He came up to me and asked if I was okay. I couldn't even get a word out before I started crying. Yeah, yeah, I cry. He pulled me into a man hug and walked me into the green room. "It's gonna be okay bro, she'll forget about it" He said, after I explained what happened. My knuckle was still bleeding and it hurt really bad. I was so upset and the only thing I wanted to do, naturally, is cry in Ruby's arms. But I can't. I ruined it. I ruined us. I ruined my life. Josh had to leave to finish his interview, so I was left alone in the green room. My phone chirped in my pocket and I saw that it was a notification of Ruby tweeting. 

"@rubyroyalty: I honestly don't know what to do, or how to think right now. In desperate need of a dozen donuts right now... can someone please deliver?" 

I sighed because I know that normally, after reading that tweet, I would rush to the donuts. I would rush to be her knight in shining armor. I would rush to offer to kill whoever made her feel sad... but that person, is me. I can't forgive myself for this. I slid down the wall and sat on the ground, hugging my knees. I began to shake and rock back and forth. My head twitching and my hands running through my hair, pulling on it. I felt the room closing on me and I was suddenly trapped in a small room. I shut my eyes to push the thoughts away, but when I opened my eyes I was still trapped. I don't know what to do so I just scream. 

Ruby's POV 

I was walking the arena to find Tyler. I have to talk to him. I had just reached backstage when I heard him. He was screaming. Crap. I started running as the screaming continued. I found the room that he was in and tried to enter, but it was locked. SHOOT. SHOOT. SHOOT. I took a big step backwards and rammed into it. It barely moved. He screamed louder and I heard bangs. I kicked the door with all my might and it crashed open. There he was. Sitting on the ground, hugging his legs, rocking back and forth. He was screaming at the sky and banging his head off the wall behind him and his head twitched. "Tyler!" I called out and ran to his side. He saw me and his hands turned to fists. He started hitting himself in the face as tears rolled down his eyes. I ran to him, trying to grab his fists and stopping them from hitting his face. It took me a second and a lot of strength to get them settled. I wrapped my arms around his body and squeezed him. "Tyler, you're okay. I'm here. You're not alone." He was still rocking back and forth, twitching, and shaking. He screamed again and tears ran down his face. 

"I ruined it, I'm such a mess up. I'm sorry" He kept repeating as he rocked back and forth. I squeezed him super tight. 

"No you didn't. Everything is okay." I said, trying to calm him down and stop this anxiety episode. 

"I'm all alone now" He exclaimed, crying into his arms.

I grabbed his face from the crease of his arm. I had my hands on both of his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. He wouldn't open his eyes and he was trying to get out of my grasp. "Snap out of it, Tyler! You're not alone. You never will be. I'm right here!" 

He strongly tilted his head out of grasp and banged it against the wall repeatedly, while also punching the ground with his already bloody knuckle. 

How can I stop this? This is the worse one I've ever seen. What can I do? God, please tell me how to help him!! 

Suddenly, I got an idea. I grabbed his face again, acting fast since I know he would try to get out of my grasp again and hurt himself. I looked at him, face in my hands. And I did it. I crashed my lips to his. It only took him a second to begin kissing back. We kissed for a little before I pulled away. His eyes were closed and I wiped the tears off of his face. 

"You need to listen to me right now, Tyler. Stop apologizing to me. I'm apologizing to you. I'm so sorry that I didn't react and I abandoned you when you expressed that feeling towards me. I am  so so sorry, Ty." I removed my hands from his face and sat next to him on the ground. He sniffled and wiped any remaining tears from his face,, finally opening his eyes to look at me. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it again. 

"That kiss was better than our first one, wouldn't you say?" I said, breaking the silence and forcing him to smile. He nodded at me, with a look of adore in his eyes. I stood up and held my hands out to help him up also. I walked us over to the bathroom sink, not letting go of his hands. I had him sit on the sink as I washed the blood off his hands and cleaned out the cuts. I put a small band-aid on his knuckle and then leaned against the sink with him. "You scared me, Ty, I thought you would never stop." I sighed. 

He looked at me, sucking in his bottom lip before speaking. "But you got me to stop, you always do. Thank you, Rubes." 

"No need to thank me. Is your head okay?" I went to reach for his head since he crashed it off the wall so many times. But he grabbed my hand and brought it to his face. 

"Ruby, this is your out right now. I know you only kissed me to stop my episode. I'm telling you right now that you can get out of this and we can forget it ever happening. The kisses, I mean. We can go back to normal. I prom-"

I cut him off and put my index finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet. "I didn't only kiss you to stop your episode, I kissed you because I wanted to. I just needed time to process what was happening, that's all. You didn't give me that time which is okay, but I had to chase you and let you know that I wasn't rejecting you. I was thinking. You wouldn't let me speak back on the bus before you left, so I thought about after you left. And I wanted to kiss you again. So, I did." 

He smiled at me, kissing my fingertips. "So, can we try this? The whole more than friends thing? Give me a chance?" He was nervous, which caused me to smile. 

"Tyler Joseph, are you asking me out?" I teased. 

"Y-yes, I-I am?" He stuttered and questioned himself, looking away from me. 

I put my finger on his chin, moving his face to mine and forcing him to look at me yet again. "Then I say, yes Tyler. We can try this. The whole more than friends thing. I'll give you a chance, but don't ruin it" I joked and smiled wide. 

He smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen and licked his lips before crashing our lips together again. 

Well, here we go.