Treacherous ❅ Hemmings

180 Days Before (1/2)

It's 4AM and I styaed up writing this so leave me alone. I'm half aslerp.

Read the a/n at the end.

OH YEAH VOTE BC ITS MY BIRTHDAY TMRW. Sweg.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOFIA you suck xoxo

:: 40 :: WED, August 20, 2014

THREE days. It has been exactly three days since I found out Luke, the same Luke I met on top of a funeral building, the same Luke I found out was part of the reason why my Dad died, the same Luke I lost my virginity to, the same Luke I fell in love with - had a terrible tumor developing in his brain.

I didn't leave Luke after he told me. I couldn't bare to and so I convinced him that I drove both of us back to his house and I stayed over for the night.

When I asked Liz if she would mind us sharing a bed, she said she was okay because she trusted us both enough. The sad spark in her eye told me she knew that I knew.

For months, it was always Luke who watched over me. It's my turn.

If there was one good thing that came out of this, it had to be my infatuation for Luke to only grow. All the sacrifices he had done just to make sure I wouldn't worry about him both astounded and sickened me. It astounded me how selfless he was that he put his needs last, behind others'. And it sickened me how I could have never done the same thing in return.

My Dad was wrong. There aren't two kinds of people in this world. There are three for Luke didn't categorize under the Selfish nor the Stubborn. He was Luke. He had been the most selfless yet he wanted absolutely nothing to himself at all. He had not been stubborn either because he had nothing to convince himself he was selfish of. He was a giant mystery and that set him apart from the rest.

Somehow in this big world, our paths crossed and I believed everything happens for a reason. I was meant to meet Luke and I was meant to make sure that candle keeping him alive wouldn't lose its flames.

No it wasn't fate nor was it destiny. It was mere coincidence. Our whole lives have been nothing more but mere coincidences. Luke being on top of the funeral building, getting drunk that September dawn, running over my Dad - all were nothing more but coincidences, cruel, cruel coincidences.

When I woke up very early the next morning, after my stay at Luke's, I was in my own bed. For the first five minutes, I had convinced myself everything was just a dream but then I shifted to my right and found Luke sound asleep with his one arm under my head.

If I used to look at Luke with so much admiration in his sleep, I still did. It's just that I didn't just admire his chapped lips, I admired them because they are parted thus letting air enter and leave his body. I didn't just admire his hair anymore because of how it was quiffed, I admired it because it was still there but lessening, reminding me he's been taking chemotherapy and that it was working. I didn't just admire him the same way I used to anymore. I admired him now because he reminded me he was still here and still fighting.

Watching his chest rise and fall, I let the minutes and hours go by. I didn't want to close my eyes for I was afraid once I did, I would miss his breath. I never knew just seeing such involuntary movement made me so relieved.

I checked the time: four o'clock am. I have been watching Luke sleep for the past one and a half hour. It felt like the only thing that mattered at the moment. Not helping the tears escape, I began sobbing silently to myself. The news haven't really hit me yet. There was a small voice in my head that was still hoping he would tell me April Fools came by early.

"Jay?" His voice faintly called out as his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Hi, stranger." I sniffed, quickly rubbing my eyes so he wouldn't see me crying again. I figured if he saw me strong, he would be too.