buzzcut season

3.

"How'd we get home last night?" I ask.

"Cab."

"And Emma?"

"She took one too. She'll probably go get her car today," Mal shrugs as she pours cereal into a bowl.

My headache kills.

"Did you ever see Luka last night?"

"No," she says.

"Oh well you definitely were with someone," I laugh.

"On my neck?"

"Yes."

"Were both so crap at hiding these."

"See that's what a roommates for. To tell you about the hickeys on your neck you don't know are there."

"Go back to bed please," she groans.

I grab the Tylenol of the top of the fridge and toss her one.

"I guess you were right," I say. "Must've imagined it again. That happens too often."

"You miss him that's all."

"Nah he's an ass. Besides, even if I did a bit, so do you and you don't deal with this shit."

What I haven't told Mal is all the time I imagine Luka coming back in my dreams and things.

It just never made sense to me.

The three of us grew up glued to each other's waists and one day he disappears. He came to my door, just a friendly chat and then left.

I didn't realize him saying bye then was his way of saying bye forever.

He did the same for Mal.

The worst part was his only family here was his dad. There was no one to go to, to ask where he'd gone. People asked us.

"Maybe he's got a good reason why."

"Bull. What possesses you to get up and leave without explanation? Then never contact anyone."

I lean on the fridge out of frustration.

"Maybe just drop it then. We don't know what happened."

I groan before sitting down to pour myself cereal.

"See I'm not even sure if I'd be relieved to see him again or if I'd just punch him."

Mal rolls her eyes.

"Drop it."

"Why doesn't it bother you?" I ask.

"I don't know. What does it bother you so much?"

"Because out of nineteen years of my life I've only come out with two people I can trust and one disappeared."

"You can trust Myah."

"Mal, Myah is at the bottom of the list. She will throw whomever under the bus. Especially me just so she can look better in front of dad."

"Same with Kate. She loves attention but it's mainly from mom. When you grow up one of three girls it gets competitive."

"Isn't it nice knowing we're second choice," I snort.

"Third."

"I'm sure my father would put my sisters ex boyfriend before me."

"We're competing in a 'who has a more depressing life' contest here," Mal laughs. "Funny considering we grew up basically as the one percent."

"What does money get you?"