buzzcut season

16.

I walk into the apartment and drop my computer bag to the floor.

I hate working so much.

I walk a little farther before I see Luka on the couch. I hear the shower running so I assume Mal is showering.

"Hey," I say. He looks up from his phone. "Whatcha guys up to?" I ask.

"Movie night." I nod my head.

"Just you two?"

He shrugs.

I decide I won't force them to let me watch it with them so I just shrug before heading to my room.

I've felt gloomy for a couple weeks now so I don't really care. I don't really care that they're becoming pretty close and I'm becoming pretty distant. I just shrug everything off and sleep.

"You can join us," Luka says and I stop.

I turn to face him, a little surprised.

"Oh okay," I say. "I'm going to change then."

I walk to my room and start unbuttoning my shirt.

I return back into the living room in my Mickey Mouse pants and a grey shirt.

I flop down on the couch next to Luka.

"What're we watching?"

"Not sure yet."

I smile a bit, excited to be doing something. This past while has flown by and I've mainly just slept. It's almost December.

Mal and are going to need to put up the Christmas tree soon.

I look around to find a blanket.

I chat with Luka a bit. The more I'm around him the more he opens up. He doesn't just give me one word replies anymore. Well... usually.

"How far do you live?" I ask.

I still haven't got a clue.

"Ten minute drive."

"Is it an apartment?"

"Yeah."

I don't know how we all afford to live in this city. It's insanely over priced and prices are still rising.

He probably uses his dads money. I use my dads money plus whatever I make. I actually make a decent amount of money.

I hear the water from the bathroom stop.

"Where are you spending Christmas?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"I don't have any family left."

Then Mal interrupts by swinging open the bathroom door.

"Oh," she says caught a little off guard when she sees me. She's in a towel. "Didn't realize you were off work."

"He's going to join us," Luka says.

"I can go back to my room if you want to have your movie night," I say quietly.

Along with my depressive mood comes along insecurity. I don't act as obnoxious and confident.

"No it's fine," Mal smiles. "I'm going to go change."

She moves to go to her room and I lean back in the couch before sighing.

I can tell Luka's watching me.

"Do you have a movie suggestion?" He says, rather quietly.

I look over to him. His facial expression is a little bit softer.