Vent book

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I don't know what to name this title. And I know that I shouldn't look too much back at the past..especially since I have a future that I'm looking forward to that I'm sure will happen..

But it stings.

I'm trying to lighten up a bit though. It kind of hurts right now. I know that I'm eventually going to be okay but it just hurts.

And I know things won't happen like my nightmares with me getting shot by my abuser, or my friends getting mad and hating my guts.

Yet for some reason those thoughts scare me if they could ever even happen and it makes me want to cry and curl up. I don't want to be left alone again or anything. I got so tired...

Hey though..I don't really have any of those gut feelings like my friends will leave me or hate me and stuff..so that makes me happy at least..I just..I don't know. It scares me..

But I know that they won't go and that my abuser can't go over here..so I'm happy about that...