Love, Drugs and Cancer

Chapter 3: Texting and Lying

The next two days of my life revolved all around Cole.

If I wasn't texting Cole, I was in chemo. If I wasn't in chemo, I was texting Cole. It had become such a cycle. Throughout our texts, I ended up learning more about him. Cole had been volunteering with the hospital for three years. He didn't tell me what got him started. Only that it was something personal. I hoped that one day he was going to find the trust to tell me.

I learned that he's obsessed with cars. He likes to buy them, restore them and then sell them for a profit, but he has a few that he keeps. He told me that one day he would pick me up in one of his cars at my house, rather than at the hospital. He said that one of these days we'll have to stop lying to my parents. Too bad I'll be dead before that ever happens.

For the first time, that thought actually brought me a pain in my chest. Before, I didn't care about my death. But now, I've met Cole. I don't want to die before we can ever get anywhere.

Can we screw the whole going slow thing? I texted Cole.

What? He replied.

I just really am a strong believer in living like it's your last day and  not holding anything back because you never know when it might be all gone. I don't want us to hold back anything and then suddenly we can't even speak at all.

:D that sounds great, Sam. Can we meet up? Now? 

No, I have chemo. Of course, I didn't say that. I simply said. Cant. 2night?

Sure. The usual?

Ya. 

Awesome. I'll get to see him again tonight. It's only been two days since our terrible disaster date and I already miss him terribly. I think of him every waking moment I'm in this hospital. I think of our amazing kiss and how I might be falling. Falling in love.

I  never thought that I would fall in love as a teenager. I never thought I would fall in love when I figured out I was diagnosed with cancer. I figured that I would be dead before it happened. But Life is going to give me one last chance. One last thing to smile about before Death takes me away. 

Emily walked into my room. "Hey, Sam. Are you ready for chemo day four?"

I groaned. "After today, three more to go. At the very least."

"Let's stay hopeful, okay?" Emily frowned at the box next to my bed with the wig inside. "Why aren't you wearing your wig? I've barely seen you take it off since we got it for you."

"I want to keep it clean for my date with Cole tonight." I replied. 

"You're not going out again, are you?" 

I looked down. I forgot that she told me it was a one time thing.

"Sam, it's dangerous for you to go out. Your immune system is week and just going on that ten minute date a few says ago still has you more sick than usual today. You can't go out again. Doesn't he understand that it's dangerous and that you need to stay in this hospital for your own good?"

I continued to look down. That's when Emily put the pieces together.

"Oh, Sam... He doesn't know you have cancer."

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I couldn't tell him when we met. I told him that I was there to talk with children in remission. I would've told him on our date but I had already lied about. I didn't want him to view me as a liar. The date went so well, Emily. The only reason it stopped was because he noticed that I didn't feel good. Which is probably just going to happen again tonight. But I'm falling in love with him and I know he feels the same. Something about us just works. We're meant to be, but we're finding each other too late because I don't have much time left."