Unsteady (Sequel to Hold On)

Chapter Nine: Doing What's Best

Alisha

(The Next Day)

Aurora was still in the hospital and I was back at work, I was still on desk duty which I'm fine with. Sonny and I kinda just avoid each other, Amanda apologized but I told her I didn't blame her. 

Peter and I have begun to rebuild our friendship and it's really nice having him here for me. Liv is trying to keep the peace between all of us. 

Sonny sits down at his desk and I look up at him, "Just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't be friends Sonny" I say, he looks up at me. "I know that I just can't look at you without feeling guilty" I sigh, "Sonny, I forgive you. I do...but I don't know if I could trust you again." Sonny nods and we get back to paperwork. 

Amanda and Sonny leave to investigate something, Fin walks over to me, "You doing okay? How's Aurora?" I look at him, "She's okay, we should be able to take her home tomorrow," "And you?" Fin asks, "I'm doing what's best for me." I reply. 

"Staying single and raising my daughter," "Are you going to find an apartment?" Fin asks, "I've been looking but I don't see anything I like," I say shrugging, "For now I'll stay with Peter," "Because that went well with Rafael," Fin says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Sh, I don't date lawyers...anymore..." I mumble.

Liv lets me leave early and I head to the hospital, I go to Aurora's room and see Peter with her. "Peter? What're you doing here?" I ask setting my stuff down, "Just wanted to check on her, the doctor said she's doing really well," I nod. "I uh, bought a crib for her at the house, and some baby stuff," Peter says. 

"You didn't need to do that, I could've done it myself," I say walking over to Aurora, who just smiles at me. "I had the day off, thought it would be nice," Peter says smiling at me. "Thank you," I say and hug him. 

"Want anything to eat?" I shook my head, "But a soda would be great," He nods and leaves. I sit down and stare at Aurora, she looks at me and smiles.

I begin singing to her, "6 pounds and 9 ounces, looking up at me, like I have all the answers I hope I have the ones you need, I've never really done this, now I know what scared is, sometimes I'll protect you, from everything that's wrong, other times I'll let you just find out on your own, but that's when you'll be growin' and the whole time I'll be knowin'.." 

I smile, "You're gonna fly, with every dream you chase, you're gonna cry, but know that that's okay, sometimes life ain't fair but if you hang in there, you're gonna see, that sometimes bad is good, you just have to believe, things work out like they should, life has no guarantees but always loved by me, you're gonna be..." 

"I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes, Lord knows I'll be trying to give you what it takes, what it takes to know the difference between gettin' by and livin', 'cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way.."

"You have a beautiful voice," Peter says startling me, I turn around, "How long have you been standing there?" I ask, "Not long, but  long enough to hear your voice, why didn't you ever go anywhere with it?" He asks me.

I shrug, "I wanted to be a cop above everything else," I say. He nods and hands me a Dr. Pepper, "You dated Rafael Barba, right?" I nod, "And Sonny Carisi, and Aaron Hotchner and Nick Amaro..." I continue, "Ali, I'm not judging you on who you've been with, that's not my business," Peter says sipping his sprite. 

"I wanted to call you after you went back to Virginia but Annie told me not too, that all I was to you was a fuck buddy," Peter explains, I chuckle, "Annie was jealous. She hated the fact that I moved on as easily as I did, why do you think she slept with my brother and ya'lls other friend, she was trying to make me jealous, I liked you a lot back then Peter. But you had a girlfriend and we lived 12 hours from each other. You were the first guy in a long time to actually care about me and I missed it, but I figured we'd never see each other again so I let us go," I tell him. 

"Liv told me what Mike put you through, and even what Rafael put you through with the 'are we, aren't we' and what you went through as a child, and I am so sorry..." I shook my head, "Don't be sorry, Rafael was the person I wanted to marry, raise Aurora with, even if it wasn't his kid, and he pulled the plug on that baby without thinking about what it could've done to us, and I had to let him go," I say shrugging, "You deserve someone who will treat you better than anyone else, you don't deserve to be cheated on or lied too," Peter whispers.

I sigh and look at Aurora, "Sonny is going to be a great dad, and I don't know if we'll ever work it out, but maybe for her sake we could act like it," I whisper. Peter grabs my hand and I look at him, "I'm here for you, no matter what." I smile and nod.