Unsteady (Sequel to Hold On)

Chapter Fourteen: An Old Friend.

Alisha

I arrive at the precinct and walk in, Sonny looks up and gasps. "Woah," He says "What?" I ask, "I--you look great, that hair really fits you," I smile, "Thank you," I say. Amanda walks up, "Lookin' good girl," she says smiling.

I chuckle, "Is Lucy watching Rory?" Fin asks me, "Yeah, and Noah, I'll be home in a bit  but just needed to get out and see everyone," "You saw us last night," Fin says laughing, "You know what I mean!" 

I hear his laugh and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest as he and Liv walk out of the office. He stops and our eyes meet, "Alisha," He says softly, "Rafael," I say back.

I didn't stop him as he pulled me in for a hug, I just hugged him back. It felt nice to have someone familiar holding me again. I pull back, "You look amazing," He says, "Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself," I say.

"I like the hair, Ali," Liv says and smiles at me, "Thank you, I just needed something different," I say. "Hey Liv, I--" I hear Peter say as he walks in, I look at him. "Woah, when did you cut your hair?" He asks, "A little bit after you left," I say and smile. "I like it," he says and kisses me on the forehead.

 Realization flashes over Rafael's face as he remembers when I said this morning that I was talking to someone. "Liv can I talk to you in your office?" Liv nods, "I gotta get back home, I'll see you later Peter," "Alright honey," He kisses my cheek and then heads into the office, everyone stares at me in shock.

"What?" I ask, "You're dating Peter now?" Sonny asks, "We're not dating, we're just---testing the waters," I say, "I don't date lawyers," "Since when?" Fin, Amanda, and Rafael say. I roll my eyes, "I'll see you guys later," I say. "Can I walk you out?" Rafael asks, I nod and we head towards the elevator. 

"It's weird seeing you in jeans and a t-shirt," I say to him, "Yeah, you never really got to see me like this," "No, you were always so professional," I say as we step into the elevator. 

"Why didn't you and Sonny work out?" Rafael asks me, "He cheated on me with Amanda," Rafael's eyes widen and his mouth drops slightly. "Yeah," I say. 

We get off the elevator, "Can I give you a ride back to Peters? I would love to see Aurora..." Rafael asks, "Uh-yeah sure," I say and follow him to his car. I gave him the address and we head on our way.

"Ali, I'm sorry," Rafael says, "Sorry for what?" I ask, "Everything, not returning your calls and text, leaving, just--everything," 

"You did what you had to do to forget about me, I understand," I say, "That's the problem, I can't forget about you," He admits as we pull into Peter's street.

"W-what?" I ask looking at him, "Every time I try and date someone else or just sleep with them, I just can't...I still feel like I'm cheating on you..." I don't say anything as we pull into Peter's driveway.

I slowly get out of the car and head to the front door, unlocking it and going inside. "You're back fast, Rory is asleep," Lucy says. "Okay, thank you for watching her," "Of course," Lucy takes Noah's hand, "Bye Aunt Ali!" He says, "Bye Noah!" I say and smile. 

As they head to the door I hear, "Uncle Rafa!" and Lucy laugh. After a few words between Noah and Rafael they leave and I go into the kitchen.

"Ali? Did I say something wrong--" I turn and face him, "You don't get to do this!" I scream. He was taken back, "Do what?" he asks.

"You don't get to come back, and act as nothing changed! Or wear the same t-shirt I used to sleep in, or act like you still love me! It's not fair!" I say. 

I face towards the sink and rest my hands on the counter, I feel him walk up behind me, pressing his body against mine and wrapping his arms around my waist.  "I do still love you," He whispers in my ear, I want to melt into his arms. I want to kiss him again and do everything we used to do.

He begins kissing my shoulder blade and moves up to my neck, "If you want me stop, just say it," He whispers. I don't say anything because the truth is I don't want him to stop. 

His hand runs over the button of my pants and he unbuttons them. Everything is my head is screaming at me to stop, that this is wrong. But I want him so badly that I don't care.

I turn around and grab the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. He kisses me back, hungrily. His hand sliding up my shirt and cupping my breast. I let out a soft moan but guilt strikes me. I pull back and push him back slightly.

"I'm sorry--" He says, "No-No don't be," I whisper and wipe my mouth, buttoning my pants back up.  "We can't do this," I whisper. 

"I know--" I hear Aurora start crying and sigh deeply. I walk to her room, "Hey," I whisper picking her up, she instantly stops crying and I walk back into the kitchen. "Oh my gosh," Rafael says, "She's gotten so big," I hand her to him. "How old is she now?" he asks.

"Almost 3 months," I say and smile. "She's beautiful, like her mom," I chuckle and he looks at me. I realize, even in my lustful moment, that I'm not in love with him anymore and for some reason, it felt like a relief.