Unsteady (Sequel to Hold On)

Chapter Sixteen: Lead Me.

Alisha

As we arrived at the church and got out, Peter once again got Aurora. "I can carry my own daughter," I say, "That wouldn't be very gentlemen like of me," Peter says smiling.  He takes my hand and we walk in, "Hey Peter," a man, around Peter's age, says. "Hi Pastor," He says. "Who is this?" The Pastor says, "Jim, this is my girlfriend Alisha, and her daughter Aurora," Peter says, Jim shakes my hand. 

"Nice to meet you, Alisha," Jim says, "You can call me Ali," I say. He nods, "How old is she?" He asks pointing to Rory, "3 months," I say, he smiles. "My wife wants another kid so bad, but I keep telling her we're too old!" Jim says laughing. "You're only 38!" Peter says, "Too old" Jim states shaking his head. I chuckle.

I follow Peter to the sanctuary and he sets Aurora down in a pew, before motioning me to sit down as well. He sits next to me and Aurora was on the other side of him. A few moments later, a band began playing a song, "I love this song," Peter says. 

He grabs my hand as everyone stands up, "What song is it?" I ask, "You'll see," He says smiling.

"I look around, I see my wonderful life, almost perfect, from the outside, In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife, always smiling, but on the inside, I can hear her saying," I can hear Peter singing along and I smile as I watch him, 

"Lead me, with strong hands, stand up, when I can't, don't leave me hungry for love, chasing dreams, what about us? Show me, you're willing to fight, that I'm still the love of your life, I know we, call this our home but I...still feel alone.." His hand squeezes mine as he looks down at me, 

"I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes, they're just children from the outside, I'm working hard, telling myself they'll be fine, they're independent, but on the inside, I can hear them saying," 

I found myself singing along with the lyrics, my heart was heavy and I felt myself begin to cry, "Lead me, with strong hands, stand up, when I can't, don't leave me hungry for love, chasing dreams, what about us? Show me, you're willing to fight, that I'm still the love of your life, I know we, call this our home but I..still...feel alone.." I lean against Peter and he wraps his arm around me.

"Father, give me the strength, To be everything I'm called to be, Oh Father show me the way, To lead them, won't you lead me?" I see a single tear slip out of Peter's eye, "To lead them, with strong hands, to stand up when they can't,  don't want to leave them hungry for love, chasing dreams, that I could give up, I'll show them, I'm willing to fight, and give them the best of my life, so we can call this our home, Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone," 

The song ends and we all sit back down as the Pastor begins preaching, the sermon is about a father being a good example, and how they should never provoke their children to anger. I can't help but think about my dad, I haven't seen them since Aurora was born. They called me a few weeks ago and dad said he was doing well with his recovery. 

After about an hour, a few more songs, the church service was over and I pick Aurora up. She had pretty much behaved the whole service, she had cried once because the music was too loud but besides that, she had slept. 

"She's wide awake now," Peter says laughing, I smile and we walk out of the church and to his car. "What did you think about it?" Peter asks as he buckles Aurora back in, "It was nice, it was different for sure," I say. He nods and gets in the car, "Do you think you'll come again?" He asks, "Possibly, I really liked the first song," "Me too, makes me think of my dad," "Ben?" I ask, "Yeah," and that's all he said about it. I don't feel like pushing it so I just stay silent.

"Where to for lunch?" Peter asks, "I don't know, McDonalds?" I ask, "McDonalds it is!" He says smiling. I chuckle as we pull off.