The Powers I Possess Are Fatal

Chapter 18

I knew he would have found and read my letter to him but I was never expected a response from him. I just wanted him to understand and for him to see that I did still love him and that I wasn't leaving him I just had to disappear to protect him. I had to bring him back to me and I was convinced that it was for the best in the phone but after reading this, I'm not so sure anymore. He is too kind in the letter and he should be angry with me, not understanding. I wasn't expecting him to be so calm and rational. I sat down on the chair by the fire watching the flames dance with each other. The flames made me think about fireflies and how when it is dark they create little flying lanterns. This made me smile for a little while, well until I heard another knock but this time it wasn't at the door it was from someone knocking on the door to the living room. I turned to see who it was and sure enough it was James. I was a little shocked I hadn't brought him here to me, at least I didn't realize I had. He came further into the room and sat down in the chair opposite me by the fire. I didn't say anything to him, I didn't even look at him. I turned my whole body so that I was facing the fire place and the flickering flames. Personally I could sit and pretend he wasn't with me all day but eventually James started talking to me, I on the other hand remained motionless and immobile. 'Baby, you have to talk to me, we can't sit here in silence the whole time I'm here and I don't plan on leaving here without you. I need you and these last few days have been hell for me. Baby pleas....' I cut him off in the middle of his sentence by saying 'Stop with the baby crap, why can't you just be angry with me. I hurt you, I ran away from you without any warning and only a note and a pathetic necklace. You need to be angry with me not understanding or nice. I just don't deserve it.' I was crying a little at this point as James was just staring at me, with nothing but love in his eyes. Man I thought I understood him but in this moment of suspended time I didn't. He wasn't the James I knew and loved he was a man. A man that I still loved with all my heart and soul and someone who was able to put all the pain I put him through behind him so that we could go back to normality. I wasn't having it I wanted him to shout at me, I wanted him to be angry. I didn't want him to forgive me so easily, I wanted.... I just needed him to be angry or something. I was about to tell him to be angry at me again when he started to talk 'You want me to be angry, disappointed and completely unforgiving well I can't Lily it's just not me. I can't live without you, I have had to try that for the last god knows how many days and I will not do that again. I am only understanding because of your letter to me and I'm not emotionless here before you I am a man who has become so broken that he doesn't know how to survive on his own. I was always a loner, independent and emotionless and then I met an amazing girl whom changed my life and flipped my whole universe upside down. You're the only person for me Lily and we will be together for the rest of our lives.' He was now kneeling in front of me with a box in his hands. Before he could say anymore I said 'I'm so sorry for all the pain and selfishness I put upon you by running away, I would never want to cause you pain as causing you pain only means pain for me too. We are a whole, apart or together so when you're hurting I'm hurting too. I love you so much. Please forgive me please.' I was down sat on his one knee with my hands in his hair waiting for him to respond. James grabbed me and pulled me closer to him and gave me a sweet soft kiss. As his lips touched mine the kiss got deeper and more forceful and passionate. When I pulled away James said 'I can never stay mad at the girl I Love of course I forgive you baby.' I kissed his check and then got up and sat back down on the chair. James picked up the small box from the floor and then said 'I know we said we would wait until we were a lot older but I can't wait anymore I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I am sure you feel the same. We have been through so much together and I know our journey is not over yet but we do need to put something's in stone and I believe that us getting married is one of these things. So here I go. Lily April James will you please do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife and life companion, in this world and any other world that may come next?'

I just looked at him I wasn't shocked by his question if anything I wanted him to propose to me before I ran away but was he just doing this because I ran or because he wants to marry me. So I asked him 'Are you just doing this because of what happened, I don't want a pity proposal?' he shook his head and said 'I have wanted to ask you for the god knows how long, but we agreed to wait until we were older but I can't. Not anymore I want to start a married life with you and I really want to start a family.' I looked at him and said 'You didn't have to ask silly of course I want to marry you I have been waiting for you to ask me. I love you so much and I have wanted nothing else but to marry you and to start a family.' James pushed the engagement ring he brought me on my wedding finger alongside his promise ring he gave me. It was beautiful, a sapphire and a diamond entwined together. A weird but perfect combination for an engagement ring. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me, so that he could kiss me and make this the perfect moment that we would remember for the rest of our lives.

Neither of us said anything for a while we just sat on the floor of the cabin holding each other. It was peaceful and my most favorite place in the whole world in James's arms.

I pulled away slightly so that I could look him in the eye and said 'So is this going to be a long engagement or can we get married soon?' he looked at me for a moment and then said 'I think we should get married as soon as we can before the end of this year and the beginning of next year'. I nodded and then said excitedly 'We could get married smack on new year, have the wedding ceremony in 2012 and then be pronounced man and wife smack on mid-night. That way we would have ended this year married and the new year'. James was smiling at me and then he started to kiss my neck. After he had finished he said 'that's a genius idea, you plan the wedding day and my outfit and I will plan the transport the location, you just trust me and turn up, okay?' I nodded in response as I knew I could trust him with this as he knew me better than I knew myself. But now for the hard part I had to talk to him about Violate and my parents. 'James, I need to tell you something before I get carried away with the wedding. The reason that I ran was because Jeremy saw me become a monster, I was a monster because I had control over so much power that I pulled Violate from the ghostly plane and myself from ours into a whole new one, just so that I could talk to her one more time. You may not think this makes me a monster or you may see me as one but it not the only thing I did. I created a circle of fire around myself so that no one could touch me and I put Jeremy in danger of getting hurt as I didn't care about anyone. I was in so much pain about my parents and you that I didn't want to feel anything anymore. If anything I just wanted to give up.' James was nodding the whole time to what I was saying and I thought he was going to run for the hills but he didn't. He just started talking 'Baby, you could never ever be a monster you was in a very emotional place and you couldn't cope anymore you needed someone to talk to who had been with you from the very beginning. Someone who understood your magic and your abilities, you needed Violate and that's why you brought her to you and that was because you have enough power and it just shows that you can do anything you want with your powers. As for the fire I don't care about the danger aspect and neither does Jeremy he told me this and I'm sure he has told you that he didn't see you as a monster. I love you and I always will and I'm still going to marry you.'