please help me (mb story)

chapter 31

Last chapter in till the sequel!!!😁😁 Be prepared for a long chapter well long in my words.

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chresanto's pov

Me and my dad anxiously wait in the waiting room. I try to think of anything but Jammie in that operating room. My foot starts to tap and shake in anxiety. My dad is starring at me trying to read my reaction to this whole situation.

"Chres.. are you okay. I know this is hard to deal with but just talk to me.

"Dad you don't know how much things I have been through this whole year. I cared deeply for all of them. Its just.."

I start to get chocked up and tears start to form. "Dont cry roc" I repeat to myself

"DANG dad ! I was trying my hardest not to think about this and Jammie and everything. But no you just have to try to act like a father towards me and try to talk about it. You cant make up for all the times you weren't there. So don't start now christian"

I have never called my dad his real name before but I'm over it. I stand up and start to punch the white hospital hard walls in anger. I now feel how diggy felt with alisha. Jammie told me that he was flipping tables and had a mental break down. There's that name again Jammie. The love of my life's name. Everything about her is priceless to me. I cant just go on with life without her by my side. I made so many mistakes and problems for the both of us but I wouldn't change that for a second. Im tottaly ,fully, all the way, everything inside of me is completely in love with Jammie Danielle Davis. I start to shed more tears just thinking of waking up and not seeing her laying asleep on my chest or sprawled out like an animal with a little droll coming out. I never told her this but once I wake up I would just mess with her in her sleep. I dont think she knows she talks in her sleep tho.

I start to smile remembering the day I heard her mumble that she still is in love with me that day in my bed when I had to brush my teeth after the funeral. I instantly start frowning again remebring what I just did to her this week. I let my stupid jelously get the best of me. She broke up with me and probably still hates me.

I start to wonder what I could've did differently for us to not end up with Jammie in the hospital and me going crazy. Maybe I should've..I dont know. She had so much drama and problems in her life that probably would never change. Her friends pretty much all died or left. And then I freaking pretty much left her for a girl I didnt care about at all. I slap my hand against my head and slide down the cold hospital wall.

I need to pray that Jammies will be okay. Because if she is not... Because if she is not. I really wouldn't wanna think about that. But my life would never be the same I will never be the same.. ill never be the same.

I bow my head down and start to pray to the lord hopping he will listen to me

"Dear lord, I know I haven't came to you in a long time. I never really ask you for thing ,thinking I can handle bussiness on my own. But this lord. I cant do this without you."

I cry even more.

Jesus I know you didnt answer my prayers about the closet, or bringing my dad home. I know you let my brother die.

I pause

"Jesus I forgive you for everything. I believe the reason things have been going so bad for me and jammie lately is because I didnt believe in you. But I do lord I do.

I start to cry more than I ever did in my life. Thinking of all the pain I have been thorugh in such a short period of life. Nothing has really gone good in my life but Jammie.