I Think I Love My Brother's Best Friend

What It Feels Like Without You

In the very distance, I could hear Lucy crying and Alex yelling at the nurses to hurry up. Ashton hadn't said anything. I felt like I was in a car and it was going 210 miles per hour. I felt them round a corner and doors closing. I felt them quickly, but swiftly lift me on the table. They put a very uncomfortable thing around my nose and I was out like a light.

   AFTER THE SURGERY:

"Hey, Riley you haven't woken up yet but we're here and when you wake up we will be right by your side." Lucy said. I could hear how her voice winced. I'm not in a coma. I just feel mentally and physically weak.

"Riley, I am so sorry. Please wake up. I should have waited to tell you about college. I'm sorry!" Alex said on the verge of tears. I could hear it in his voice.

Ashton still hadn't said anything maybe he went to get me some clothes. I tried to open my eyes, but they stayed shut. I panicked. Please open your eyes, I told myself but they wouldn't budge. I just decided to rest. Later on, I heard Lucy and Alex talking it up. I wished we were talking together. "Lucy, I didn't know this would happen!" Alex said sounding disappointed.

"Dude calm down. The doctor said it wasn't your fault." She said I could hear the reassurance in her voice.

"I'm not stupid. He said it was stress that caused the thing inside her to burst and I added more on her. I knew she would be devastated that's why I wasn't going to tell her. We always said college was a priority because we wanted to branch away from our parents money. It was important to her and I really let her down. The girl dreamed about it and I'm her big brother, she looks up to me." He said.

"She would have found out sooner or later." Lucy said trying to make ends meet. "I know, but I just hate that this happened!" Alex said. I could hear him tapping his foot back and forth.

"I know! Trust me as soon as she awakes, she will forgive you. She's just a good person like that." Lucy said.

#######

"Oh my gosh, Alex I think she's opening her eyes again!" Lucy said patting something I couldn't quite make out. She was right. I was trying and one eye was slightly coming open.

"Hey baby! Oh my gosh I can't believe it. You are awake!" Lucy said gushing. "Yeah, how long have I been in here?" I asked lifting the mask off my face. It was getting super uncomfortable. "A week, a day ago, you started to open your eyes but just stopped." Lucy said making my heart break.

"Where's Alex?" I asked looking around for him. I knew he was here "Outside, he didn't know if you wanted to see him." She said.

"Tell him to come here and could you get me some water my throat is dry." I said as I coughed a little.

"Yes, of course. Alex!" She called.

******

Alex came in the room, he looked scared. I smiled at him to let him know I wasn't upset. "So you dropped out?" I asked as my heart broke again.

"Yes." He said softly.

"I am not mad. I am shocked. I feel like you are ruining your life and I don't want you too regret your decision. I hope it's not because of what dad thinks either." I said.

"I might go back. You know, I just felt like I wasn't meant to be there like I have bigger plans and college isn't one of them. Using dad and mom isn't a option either." He said as I shook my head.

"I understand, but I wanted to go to college with my big brother." I said smiling slightly.

"I know. I am sorry for not telling you earlier." He said hugging me.