Different: A Markson Story

Chapter 7: Not Good Enough

Mark found himself adjusting to dorm life more easily than he thought. He roomed with Jaebum obviously, Bambam roomed with Jackson...again obviously, Youngjae roomed with Yugyeom as expected, and Jinyoung had a solo room to himself. Mark got along with everyone really well, even Bambam and Jinyoung, who he had never met before. Well, he got along with almost everyone. Despite being in a group together, Mark had never said more than a few words to Jackson. The limit of their conversations were always yes/no questions. 

"Want pancakes?" 

"Are you going to train?" 

"Was their homework?" And even then those conversations were rare between them. If anything Mark only asked Jackson these things because Jackson would be glaring or giving Mark some serious resting bitch face. Mark was really intimidated and these interactions only made him think Jackson did not like him.

*At the practice room*

"Again!," the instructor demanded. The seven boys repeated the dance routine, sweat dripping down their faces, panting and gasping for air, the room feeling hotter than a sauna. 

"Excellent Jackson!"

 "Yes just like that Jackson!"

 "Everyone follow Jackson!" Mark turned to Jackson who seemed to be performing with ease, no difficulty at all. His eyes conveyed the same determination they always did when they danced. Constantly hearing and having to look at Jackson frustrated Mark. 

"Jackson this, Jackson that...why do we always have to hear about Jackson?" Mark scoffed in his head...or at least he thought.

 "What did you just say, Mark?" The instructor was staring intensely, gazing straight into Mark's soul. Did he really say that out loud? 

"I--uh--no--I was---I--" He was speechless and unable to find any words. He caught Jackson giving him a serious glare, so sharp it could cut him if it could. 

"If you really think you can dance this routine better than Jackson why don't you perform the routine from the top with Jackson. Just the two of you," the instructor firmly suggested. 

"Um--" 

"DO IT!," the instructor demanded.

Mark did his best to perform the routine alongside Jackson. He struggled with some of the intricate steps, breathing heavily while remembering what step to do next. He saw Jackson in the mirror. Determination filled his eyes. He was focused and again seemed to do the complex routine with ease. Jackson performed the routine effortlessly like a well-oiled machine. Meanwhile, you could definitely see Mark was struggling to remember some of the moves. How was he so good? They had only started learning this routine a few days ago.

"STOP!" The instructor's voice echoed off the room walls.

"Mark Tuan, are you really questioning why I always say look at Jackson? Did you just see how you were dancing compared to him?" Mark stared at the instructor speechless, but most of all embarrassed. Jackson was smirking definitely feeling high and mighty. 

"Mark you are not performing the routine to our standard. If you want any chance of debuting in this group you need to step it up. That is why starting tomorrow you will be staying for an extra hour or two to practice with Jackson. Maybe he can show you how it's done."

The words cut at Mark's insides like a knife. He was distraught, he was absolutely shattered. 

"Am I not good enough?" 

"Is Jackson really that much better than me?" Questions circled through his head and his worry grew. It skyrocketed when he finally realized he'd have to train one-on-one with the person he was intimidated by most...Jackson.

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I really hate writing this part of the story...ugh I just want to move past it. Hopefully you guys are enjoying it though, I'm trying hard to make it good. :)