Stuff I think of at 3:00am

WHEN YOU'RE EVIL

Dagger: *In a tuxedo with a top hat and a snake cane thing idfk*

Dagger: *Eyes closed, being a dramatic lil shit* When the devil is too busy.

Dagger: And death's a bit too much. 

Dagger: They call on me, by name you see.

Dagger: For my special touch.

Dagger: To the gentleman i'm Miss. Fortune.

Dagger: To the ladies I'm Sir Prize.

Dagger: But call me by any name.

Dagger: Any way it's all the same.

...

Dagger: *Opens eyes and grins under mask*

Dagger: *Walking forward, moving my left or right arm to the beat-- i hope you know what that means ;-;* I'm the fly in your soup.

Dagger: I'm the pebble in your shoes.

Dagger: I'm the pea beneath your bed.

Dagger: I'm the bump on every head.

Dagger: I'm the peel on which you slip.

Dagger: I'm the pin in every hip.

Dagger: I'm the thorn in your side.

Dagger: Makes you wiggle and writhe.

Dagger: *Snaps, making a stage and smoke cause hes dramatic* And it's so easy when you're evil.

Dagger: *Spins around and does a like-- Spider man pose, pulling my hat over my eyes* This is the life you see! 

Dagger: *Springs to feet, looks at Vg, tips hat* The devil tips his hat too me! *Spins away*

Vg: wtf -o-

Dagger: I do it all because i'm evil! 

Dagger: *Spins hat on finger* And I do it all for free! 

Dagger: *Looks over*

Ian: *Walking by, looking at my phone*

Dagger: *Grins and puts my hat back on* Your tears are all the pay i'll ever need! *Fades into red smoke*

...

Gee: *Licking a lollipop* 

Dagger: *Appears, takes the lolli and crushes it* 

Gee: ... *Starts crying*

Ian: *Ears perk up* ?! *Turns around*

Dagger: *Kicks her down* While there's children to make sad.

Dagger: *Drops the crushed pieces* While there's candy to be had.

Dagger: While there's pockets left to pick.

Dagger: *Throws my stick thing into the air* While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs--

Dagger: *Catches it and marches in place* I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner.

Dagger: It's a game. I'm glad i'm in it.

Dagger: Cause there's one born every minute. *Snaps, teleporting back to the stage* 

Dagger: *Snaps, chains hover everywhere, red smoke surrounding the stage* It's so easy when you're evil!

Dagger: *Looks*

Ian: *Questioning how tf I got here* .. ;-;

Dagger: *Grins*  This is the life, you see! 

Ian: ?! *Turns around*

Dagger: *Tips my hat* The devil, tips his hat too me!

Dagger: I do it all because i'm evil!

Dagger: *Spins around, stops, the sharp end of my stick pointed at Ian* And I do it all for free.

Dagger: *Snaps*

Ian: *Frozen* p-p

Dagger: Your tears are all the pay i'll ever need!

Dagger: *Stands in the middle, surrounded by red smoke* I. Pledge. My allegiance. 

Dagger: To all things dark.

Dagger: *Puts hand on heart* And I. Promise on my damned, soul.

Dagger: *Grips stick* Too. 

Dagger: Do as I am *Hoists it in the air* told!

Dagger: *Brings it own* For. Beelzebub has never seen. 

Dagger: *Points to self* A soldier quite like me.

Dagger: Not. *Makes my way over towards Ian* Only does his job, but does it happily!

Dagger: *Snaps, making the room pitch black*

Ian: *Can see in the dark* ... ;p

Dagger: *RAWR JUMPSCARE* I'm the fear that keeps you awake!

Dagger: *In pitch blackness, a SHHH position* I'm the shadows on the wall.

Dagger: *Yeets mask off, showing off sharp teeth and creepy af tongue, ew* I'm the monsters they become. 

Dagger: *Gets in Ian's face* I'm the nightmares in your skull.

Dagger: *Steps back and puts mask back on, does a stab motion* I'm the *rolls eyes* dagger in your back!

Dagger: *Stands straight up, straightens bowtie* An extra turn upon the rack. 

Dagger: *Does a stabbing motion at heart* I'm the quivering of your heart.

Dagger: *Walks backwards into the darkness* A static pain a sudden start! 

Dagger: *Snaps, making it light again. Yeets hat off to side, straightens my bow tie again* It's so easy when you're evil!

Dagger: *Throws arms into the air* This is the life, *Points forwards* you see! 

Dagger: *Does a spin* The devil, tips his hat too me!

Dagger: I do it all because i'm evil! 

Dagger: And I do it all for free.

Dagger: *Makes a fist* You're tears are all the pay i'll ever need! 

Dagger: ...*Drops stick*

Dagger: *Shakes head* And I do it all for free, your tears are all the pay i'll ever need!

Dagger: *Glitches* ... *Shakes head again*

Dagger: And I do it all for free, your tears are all the pay i'll ever need! *Eyes glitch to blue* ...

Dagger: *Drops to knees, the room goes dark, accept for a single red spotlight on me*

...

Dagger: It gets so lonely, being evil.

Dagger: *Looks forward*  What i'd do to see a smile!

Dagger: *Sad* Even for a little while.

Dagger: *Slowly stands* And no one loves you.. when you're evil..

Dagger: *The light goes out* 

..

Ian: ...?

Dagger: *Jumps forward on Ian, knocking him back*

Ian: ?!

Dagger: *Eyes red again* I'm lying through my teeth!

Dagger: *Spins away* Your tears are the only company I need!

Dagger: *Insane laughter, fades away*