Stuff I think of at 3:00am

Runaway

Gah! I cant believe them! Trying to tell me how to live my life? And all what for, my health? Since when did people care about my health?!

I shut off my phone and put it in my pocket and continued walking through the woods, I was miles away from both of my homes. All I was trying to do was protect myself and everyone else! I was furious, but also sad. I stopped in my tracks and just stared at the ground. Why did I yell at him?

What if that's my last memory of him? What if he commits suicide just because of me? All the anxiety and guilt filled my body. I shook my head and continued walking. He should of known anyway.

It started to get dark. Strange noises filled my ears. I put my hood up and just continued walking. Gertrude's words echoed in my head. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I wiped it away and continued walking. I wish that I could take this collar off, cause it has a tracking device. And I don't wanna be found.. at least, not right now. My anxiety filled my thoughts as I walked deeper and deeper into the woods.

For once in my life, I felt truly alone. And I knew I was the one to blame. Part of me wanted to turn around and head back, just to apologize. But the other half wanted to keep going. The cold wind blew.

I straightened my jacket and kept going. It started to snow. I could feel my chip starting to freeze up and get stiff. I ran for any kind of shelter. What am I doing?!

I shouldn't be out here... I should really head back.. I turned around. All the directions looked the same. Which one led me back?!

I shivered at the sudden burst of wind. I've really done it now... I continued walking to find shelter. The anxiety thoughts filled my head. What have I done?

I came across a small but large enough cave. I worried for what was inside, but it's better then being outside and freezing to death. I ran into the cave and sat down against the wall. It was a little warmer but still cold. I grabbed a box of matches from my pocket and started to make a fire.

The fire did its job and warmed me up instantly. I looked out at the raging snow. Was I even still in New York? Before I could think again I let out a yawn. Oh no, I'm tired already?

What do I do? Do I sleep? No. You know what happens when you sleep. Bad things happen when you sleep.

I took my hood down and just stared outside. The sound of owls hooting and wolves howling filled my ears. The water dripping from the rocks in the cave, the crickets chirping in the night, the frogs croaking, it was so noisy! I started to wish... I never ran away.

I started to wish that I was back in the lab with L. I felt my tail try to bend into a heart. But, then I remembered the things I said and felt my tail go limp again. I started to cry again. I regretted everything I said and did in that moment of time.

Now this is my consequence. Loneliness. Just me, myself and I. I should really apologize and ask for help. And maybe they were just trying to help...

I just wish they would of thought of my side of the story. They dont see sleep as evil because when they sleep nothing bad ever happens. They didnt even let me explain why. They just yelled and screamed at me to sleep. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them.

The fire kept my body warm, but not my heart. I felt terrible. What if I cause something bad? What if when I'm not there the Trio do something? I started to cry more.

I always thought that they were the monster, but that's not true. I'm the monster... I took out a little case and opened it. I stared at the ring and started to cry more. I closed it and slipped it back into my pocket.

What if he finds someone else before I can apologize? What if he finally let's Dims have his way? The more I thought about it the more I cried. The ground started to shake. Was it an Earthquake?

Am I gonna die with these thoughts? Please no. I watched a HUGE thing of snow fall directly in front of the cave.  I was snowed in. I quickly stood to my feet and tried to dig my way out. But it was no use.

Now I was trapped. I turned around to see the fire I made and the dark noisy tunnels. In defeat I walked back over to the fire and sat down in front of it. What do I do now... Memories kept filling my head.

Some good, but mostly sad. Like the time I got so emotional I jumped out his window and ran. The time when I was under a control and was mean to him. The times I was forced to watch him get hurt. I brought my knees back up to my chest and lowered my head into them. My ears dropped down low, and I just began to cry.

I should of never left. I should of never said those things. I should of just listened. It's all my fault. My, fault.