"You cared about physically too much."
I stare at him, confused.
"You always talk about your face, your body, your size. You said you're ugly. You think you're not good enough. You think you're not worth it." He said randomly.
"Well, it's because-" I tried to denied his words and explain what i feel.
"I don't believe you are that blind to see the good in you. You are good enough. You're sweet, you're kind, you're everything. And of course, you're worth it."
I became silent, don't have any good words to reply him.
"There's something good in you that you can't see about yourself, but people can see it. You aren't really knowing yourself, are you?"
Yes, i am. I don't even recognize myself. All i could think about me is i'm ugly and i'm not good enough. I'm bad. No one will ever like me because i don't like me either. I insecure about myself.
Do you want to know why i have this very bad insecurities? Because, i want to be like them. They have a beautiful boyfriend that loves them so much. They can go whenever they want to. They won't fill lonely and empty. But, boys always looking for a gorgeous and pretty girls, right? And i'm not one of those gorgeous and pretty girls.
So, please, don't blame me to have this bad insecurities. I never ask me to think about myself in a bad way, but i can do nothing about it.
I look away from him. "Sorry." I said instead of saying what's on my mind and how i feel.
He smiled. "It's okay, but please, stop think that you're not good enough. You are good enough."
All i can do is smile at him, pretending to be okay.
-Insecurities, 2018
