Dear Brother.

Dear Forever [49]

My Parents-

Too angry to even want to see me.

Zayn-

Too selfish, to want to see me.

Walter-

He is a clueless boyfriend.

Angelica-

I was waiting for her to get back from class.

Harry-

He couldn't stop banging on my dorm room door. Ever since I stormed out, I presumed he had followed me.

"Zaneh...I won't leave." I heard his husky voice say from behind the door. I had stuffed my face in my pillow and let out muffled screams and muffled cries. I probably looked as red as a tomato right at this moment. My nose felt very sensitive from all the crying I had been doing maybe just maybe, I was about to catch a cold.

"I know, I'm the least person you want to see right now at this moment." He let out again. It didn't help that my heart whimpered every time he said something. I was really whipped wasn't I? and it was too late. I had tried to move on with Walter, sweet and nice must have been his middle names. He took me out on loads of fun dates and I just loved his company, we hadn't done anything except kissing. I didn't want to take it that far, the way I had with Harold Styles. Thinking about him made my heart skip a beat, it made me feel jumpy. Seeing him on campus while I walked hand in hand with Walter was the most nerve wrecking thing I had ever had to do. I didn't know if he would be able to control himself or he would abruptly come for Walter. Zayn has the very same reaction, Walter told me how tense things had been at the frat house. Harry had left and Zayn kept warning him that if he ever breaks or plays with me, he would deal with him. I didn't understand why Zayn did the things he did. Sometimes I missed him, I missed him so much, I missed Harry too. I missed the way things use to be before we reached our teenage years, I missed the brother I once had, we did everything together. Thinking about all this made me want to cry honestly but tears just rolled down my cheeks silently.

"You don't have to say anything to me, you can just open the door so I know you're okay... I know this is all my fault." Harry said once again.

"I'm sorry your parents had to find out like that. I'm sorry it was because of my mom, sometimes she can be so blunt.." he added.

I heard girls laughing in the hallway, I presumed they were laughing at Harry. It was a girls dorm, he probably looked stupid seated outside my door. I felt a tad bit bad.

"But you know what..." he kept quiet for a bit and I waited to hear what he would say. I waited to hear him out because I was curious. "I don't regret it." He mumbled lowly but I heard it. I felt even more furious, that bastard had the nerve to say this to me at a time like this.

"I don't regret everything we did together... I'm so selfish and desperate for you to forgive me, for you to give me a chance. I'm so desperate, I have even thought as far as..." he paused for a moment. "As far as wishing I had made you pregnant." I gasped. I didn't know how to feel about it. It immediately made me think to when I had my last period. I was on the pill, ofcourse I wasn't pregnant . "We would be bound for life because of the baby, our baby. I would have a proper reason to want to see you, a proper valid reason to keep chasing you... Zaneh."

"That's selfish!" I yelled groggily then immediately put my hand over my mouth.

He chuckled.

I could hear him chuckling.

"I don't regret saying exactly what I just said." He added. "I wish I had made you pregnant. I would marry you without a second thought. I would marry you right now at this moment as well. I would marry you any day. It's hard to live without you, I don't know how I did it for so long. In the two years that I ignored you and avoided you on campus... it was hard but not this hard. I got to see you happy even though it was from afar, I got to see you even though you never noticed that I was watching you. I tried... believe me I tried to forget about you but every time I saw you... it felt like my feelings grew stronger."