An Attempt at Sunshine (Winter Soldier) (Marvel)

[26.00] [November 5, 2015]

(Seriously, trigger warning from here on out my friends.)

I don't come out of my room until 13:00.

I slip on a red hoodie and tug the long sleeve so it covers the claws up my hand. I pad out the door and stand in front of the fridge until he makes me walk away. I am uncomfortably hot. Someone decided to turn the heater on for the first time this season.

"Hey Buck." Steve smiles as he walks by, obviously coming from the gym. I attempt a smile back. "You alright?"

I haven't eaten in three days, everything hurts, I have blisters on my feet, I can't sleep anymore please help me

"Yep. Just tired."

He stares at me for a moment but keeps walking. I watch whatever news station Tony absent-mindedly turned on during his breakfast and never turned off. Clint wanders in twenty minutes later and sits next to me with a cup of coffee.

"Weather?"

I shrug. I haven't been listening.

"Hm." He reaches over and turns the closed captions on.

"Snow." I murmur. He looks over, noticing I had said something, but looks away.

I stand up and slip out of the room. The door to my bedroom now is home to a sloppily painted "BUCKY", who made its residence there three days ago. The door doesn't creak as I open it, and I am immediately aware of someone else in the room.

I don't call out, I don't move, I don't breathe. I lightly move forward, towards the silhouette perched on the edge of my bed. I am about three inches away-

"What are you doing Buck?"

I reach out and flick the lamp on.

The eyes, both comforting and intimidating greet me with a slightly amused glint.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." He pats the comforter next to him. I sit. My heart finds its way into my throat and decides to beat a million and a half miles per hour.

"Buck, something's up."

"What?"

"What's going on"

"I- I don't know what you-"

"Is it the arm."

"What?"

"Bucky, you've been wearing these long sleeves even when it's warm, I mean." He sighs. "You don't have to be ashamed."

"I know. I know they don't care about the arm."

"Okay. Sorry I just... I worry about you Buck."

"I know you do."

"Please tell me if there's anything wrong. Tell me now. Please. I don't want to let my brain run wild with theories that are far worse than the truth."

"I will. But I'm okay. Remember what Bruce said?"

"No."

"My body temperature runs almost 9 degrees lower than the average person, like how you run higher. I'm just always cold."

He reaches his hand out and presses the backs of his fingers to either side of my face.

"Yeah I guess." He maintains eyes contact for a moment before I have to break it. "Just promise okay?"

Please don't make me promise anything to you I don't want to break this please don't make me

"Okay."