The Winter Project

14. Isabel

Once they had arrived back in the van, Isabel had fallen into a deep sleep. She had been exhausted from the continuous anxiety, not just that morning and the night before but ever since she and Cleo had made the plan a month ago. In fact, she had been exhausted from continuous anxiety since she was eighteen, but the last month had taken its toll on her and she had fallen instantly asleep in the passenger seat. As she woke, she immediately felt how much pain she was in from awkwardly lying in the van. Her neck was so stiff that she was barely able to move it as she looked around and became aware of the fact the van was not moving anymore. Cleo was not in the drivers seat and there was nothing in her view except for green fields that stretched as far as the eye could see. Then she noticed something she had never seen in her life before. In the distance there were mountains. Huge, spiked peaks of the earth soaring higher than she could have ever imagined they would be, the tops coated in thick white snow. She felt in so much awe that she wanted to cry. She remembered her Grandma talking about the Alps and how beautiful they were, and she let her tears come pouring down her face. They were tears of happiness, for now she could relate to one of the stories already. She imagined the conversation that she would have had with her grandmother, both talking excitably about the beauty of such a thing.

She snapped herself out of her daydream and noticed that they were parked to the side of a small road and she honestly had no idea if they were still in France, how long she had been asleep or if she had made the biggest mistake of her life. The sun was setting over the horizon and a few stars were making themselves visible as the sky turned to a darker shade of blue. The mountains began to fade into the darkness.

She hesitantly climbed out of the van and saw that the back doors were wide open. Her instant assumption was that Cleo had been murdered and the murderer had kidnapped the van, driven Isabel to the middle of nowhere and was now rifling through the back of the van to find a blunt object to bludgeon her with. Her anxiety was exceptionally skilled at putting her into terrifying hypothetical situations before she had even had time to fully assess what was really going on.

Nervously, she approached the back of the van but was instantly reassured to find Cleo sat there searching through several plastic bags. They had kitted out the van perfectly; placing their important belongings in wooden boxes that were stacked on top of one another in one corner. They had added a double mattress covered in bed sheets complete with a duvet and pillows. They still had enough space for a small plastic table they had picked up for free from somebody on their street who was moving home and wanted to get rid of all of their furniture. Underneath it there was a travel kettle, a few glasses and plates and a selection of wires to power their electronic devices. They had decorated the right wall of the van with battery-powered fairy lights. Cleo had brought along her Polaroid camera and her plan was to take one photo in each country until the inside of their van was covered in memories of their endless adventure.

'Say hello to France!' Cleo smiled as she pulled Isabel close to her, lifted the camera above their heads and took a photo of the two of them. As they waited for the photo to reveal itself on the freshly printed blank square, Cleo showed Isabel the food she had purchased at a small supermarket on the journey while Isabel was sleeping. There was fresh bread and cheese, fruit, bottles of water and three bottles of red wine. They prepared sandwiches and Cleo poured wine for the both of them. They wrapped themselves up in the duvet and sat silently as they ate, their legs dangling out of the back of the van. They watched in silence as the last of the view disappeared into the darkness.

'I honestly don't know what we're doing,' Cleo said with a laugh and a mouthful of bread. 'I kept driving for a long time, and now I'm pretty sure we are somewhere near Geneva. At one point I was completely unaware of what time it was or how to drive, so I figured we could stop for the night.'

Isabel wanted to feel the beauty in the moment. She wanted to appreciate the freedom, the uninterrupted silence, the mountains, the food and the company, but she had no choice but to be completely honest. 'I am completely and utterly terrified,' she whispered.

'That's why I bought the wine," Cleo responded. "Actually, that's why I bought three bottles of wine."

They continued to drink until Isabel was feeling at ease. Cleo knew Isabel especially well, and she knew that the greatest anxiety cure for Isabel was some form of intoxication, and alcohol was the best solution as Isabel had not touched drugs since she was a teenager. The sun had now completely set and the absence of lights and buildings allowed them to see the stars shine brighter than Isabel had ever seen, having spent her whole life living in London. Cleo played old nineties pop music from the van radio and they found themselves dancing, laughing and accidentally using more of their limited Polaroid photos than they had originally planned. Before long they were asleep in the back of the van, the doors wide open and the walls covered in photos of the two of them celebrating their liberty.