The Winter Project

43. Isabel

Isabel had been in the best mood for days, and Steven had noticed. He was teasing her relentlessly as they sat out on the pier and prepared for a day of enticing tourists to use their rent-a-boat service which was finally ready for use after months of hard work and preparation for the summer season. He had promised her a commission, and she was nervous to succeed as she had not been earning any money since leaving home and her funds were dwindling to a dangerously low level. He had also promised that he would find out what had put her in such a good mood, and that he suspected it was probably a boy.

It was still cold on the pier in the morning, and Steven had given her his knitted sweater to wear to stop her from shivering. He told her how Julia had knitted it for him for Christmas only five or six years ago, and how she had locked herself in the bedroom every night for weeks as she prepared it and didn't want him to see. His eyes were filled with tears as he told the story, and Isabel admired the sleeves and thought about her grandmother. The usual pang of grief was less this time, and she was well aware that the sadness she felt at her memories was giving way to a sense of fondness.

As they worked together to push up the large wooden sign onto the pavement, Isabel saw him in the corner of her eye walking towards her. She smiled to herself, unable to stop. He walked in a swaying motion as if he was filled with great confidence, but in her mind she couldn't stop picturing him falling over and hurting himself, his clumsiness one of the only things she knew about him yet. Steven looked at her and then over at him, and he began to smile himself.

"I knew it," he said. "Only a boy can make a girl smile in that way."

Minoru approached them with a big grin on his face. He stuck out his hand for Steven to shake and introduced himself.

"Lovely to meet you, Sir," he said. "My name is Minoru. And yours?" Isabel loved his ability to talk so effortlessly to people; a trait she had always lacked as her social anxiety had often took over.

"My name, young man, is Steven. I assume your sole purpose for strolling up to our little pier here is that you are going to be riding one of our lovely boats?"

"Oh...no!" Minoru laughed nervously as he looked out across the lake. "I can't swim."

"The boat kinda does that for you," Isabel joked, and Steven laughed so loudly and unexpectedly that it caused him to cough until his eyes were watering. His amusement made Isabel laugh in turn, and Minoru simply stood there looking at the two of them as if they were crazy.

"Not to worry!" Steven laughed as he cleared his throat and ushered Minoru onto the nearest boat. The boats were small and rusty; looking as if they had been around for a very long time, and it was not surprising that a man who couldn't swim wasn't keen to rest his life atop one of them. "My sweet granddaughter here will look after you in case anything goes wrong."

Isabel looked over at Steven, and he winked at her in an affectionate way. She felt tears prick her eyes but held them back, promising herself that she would save it for later and cry when she was alone in her hotel room at how complete that comment had made her feel. She climbed into the boat beside Minoru, fired up the engine and pulled away from the pier. Steven had spent so many mornings teaching her how to ride the boats, and she was confident enough to do so even though she had not yet dared to venture out onto the lake alone.

Every few seconds, she would peer over at Minoru who sat back in the little plastic seat, hands gripped tightly to the side of the boat and eyes wide open in pure and utter fear. Each time he caught her looking, he would shout and insist that she kept her eyes facing forward.

"You're so right, I mean look at all of this traffic!" she laughed hysterically as she spun the boat to the right and drove it towards the other side of the lake.

"Oh God please, will you please stay close to the shore," he repeated continuously as she sped the boat across the water. Feeling a pang of empathy for his anxieties, she agreed to slow down and head back to the pier.

"I'm assuming you didn't come here for the boat ride."

"Definitely not," he responded, his face paler than she had ever seen literally anybody bear.

"So what can I do ya for?" she said in an accent that she couldn't quite figure out what it had intended to be.

"Well, seeing as I could die at any moment I may as well just take a shot in the dark and say that I think you are terrifying and funny and beautiful and I would like to grab some more gnocchi with you, if we ever make it back to shore...and if you're interested."

She thought about it, and she thought about it hard. What did she have to lose? There was of course her happiness, her sense of security, her confidence in not being abandoned or heartbroken. What did she have to gain? Losing her loneliness, good food and possibly everything. The one thing she was sure of was that she liked Minoru for his wonderful perspective on life. The fact that he had not suffered and did not dwell on the negatives, the way he saw the good in everything and the potential in everyone. If she wasn't willing to risk being vulnerable with him, then she was quite happy just to learn how to think like him.

After spending a day on the lake, Isabel made just enough money from renting out the boats to tourists to keep her feeling positive and Minoru met her back at the pier at the end of the day. He begged her to show him the van, and so she obliged. She took him to the hotel car park and opened up the back of the van. His face demonstrated his amazement. Steven had installed a rail on the side of the wall to hang up her clothes, which required her to take down the fairy lights and photos of Cleo and her. He had installed a wooden frame underneath the mattress so that she could store things underneath, and her photos were hidden in there amongst her other possessions. He had installed a wooden slate to the side of the wall that could be folded up and held to the wall with a little iron hook to act as a foldout table. Although she hadn't used the van since arriving in Italy, she was proud of how her mobile home looked. Minoru found the polaroid camera inside a box by the bed and insisted that they pose for a photo together. Isabel was excited to look at it later when he had gone and admire how they looked together.

"Can we take it for a spin?" Minoru pleaded. Her anxiety was spiking at the thought of driving again, but she planned a route in her head that would take them along the side of the lake and stop in a small town called Limone without any terrifying highways or junctions. She nervously agreed, but Minoru had already sat in the passenger seat and strapped himself in as she was still deciding.

As they drove, Minoru asked relentless questions about Isabel's preferences and her outlook on life. She told him that she was a fervent vegetarian but had started eating the fish that she and Steven had caught in the lake. She told him that her favourite music was rock music and how she wanted to be covered in tattoos but only had four to her collection. She told him that she felt emotions too strongly and was unable to stop herself from empathising with others to the point that she got upset reading news articles about total strangers who had died in unfortunate circumstances. She told him about her grandmother and how she was almost ready to let her go. She let herself speak the truth without holding back, and it felt beautifully cathartic.

Just as she was relaxing and able to enjoy the drive, a flash of sirens in the rear view mirror took her away from all of her serenity and drove her back down into her dark place.