The Winter Project

31. Minoru

In the middle of the night, Minoru woke up desperate to use the toilet after a night of drinking with Hideki and explaining the horrifying situation that had fallen upon him in which his ex-girlfriend had followed him to Japan and drunkenly tried to seduce him. Hideki was laughing throughout the whole conversation but Minoru had run out of ways to find the situation funny. He felt horrible for making somebody feel so low that they had acted in such a bizarre and psychotic manner. He felt horrible that she was sat in his hotel room, clearly upset and desperate to be loved by him. Nevertheless, he couldn't do it. When he had woken in the morning and realised he was cuddled up to her, it felt as if he had woken in a bad dream where his past had come back to him and he hadn't ever escaped in the first place, and he knew that feeling so horrified to wake up next to her meant he could never be with her again. It wasn't fair to him and it certainly wasn't fair to her.

He still had a lot of respect and love for Stephanie, but he thought back to being in love for the first time when he was eighteen, and he knew that he couldn't spend the rest of his life with a woman who didn't make him feel like a complete version of himself. He started to wonder if he could ever love that deeply again, otherwise why had he thrown away a perfectly average relationship with Stephanie?

He was sad and upset that she felt the way that she did, but he was adamant not to let his guilt trick him into sleeping with her. He knew it would make this entire healing process for her twice as long and would delay his ability to move on to. He wasn't even thinking about dating other woman, despite the large amount of attention he received in Japan for simply being half-Japanese and relatively good looking.

At the same time as all of the guilt and sadness he felt for her, Minoru was also completely freaked out. The thought of her following him to Japan scared him more than he could ever describe in words, and he felt happy and relieved that he had managed to get out of a relationship that he had once thought consisted of average jealousy that one would expect from a girlfriend, but what was clearly something much more complicated and frightening than that.

He had never felt more relieved in this entire life than when Stephanie said goodbye to him in the morning and left his hotel room. He found himself watching her from the hotel room window just to make sure that she had actually left the vicinity and wouldn't be waiting for him around the corner when he ventured outside again.

When he was confident that she was finally gone, he tried to think about what to do with his day. He had spent so much time in Tokyo now that he was running out of ideas, and he knew deep down that he had exhausted his time in Tokyo and did not have much desire to visit anywhere else in the country. He thought again about the conversation he had with Ricco on the beach a few days earlier, and decided to call him and act upon his instincts.

"Minoru! How are you this morning?" came the friendly voice of Ricco through the phone after only one or two rings.

"Hey Ricco," Minoru replied. "When did you say you were going back to Italy?"

"This evening, my friend!" Ricco laughed through the phone, his excitement and joy so evident in his voice, as it always was. "I fly at midnight!"

Minoru thought about Japan and how much he loved it. He thought about every moment of happiness and satisfaction he had experienced since he had arrived in this beautiful country, and yet he knew that these experiences were now memories and he was ready to move on to new things. He checked for flights departing from Tokyo at midnight to Italy and was able to book himself onto the same flight as Ricco.

He spent the day walking around the city, soaking in the atmosphere of Japan that he loved so much before he was ready to make his way to the airport. As he walked through the streets of Tokyo, he felt immediate regret. He knew that after his time away from work was over, it would likely be a long time before he was able to return to Japan. With no university degree, he was unable to work there and his Japanese friends had advised him against working in Japan even if he could due to their intense working culture. He had been lucky to secure so much time off work, and he was worried that he should have spent all of that time in Japan while he still had the chance.

Once he had met Ricco in the departure lounge at the airport that night, of his sadness about leaving Japan dissipated as Ricco told him with excitement his stories of Italy and his plans for when he returned home. He promised Minoru that they would have an incredible time and that Minoru would not be sad when he arrived.

As the plane departed the ground and made its way to Italy, Minoru told Ricco all about his recent incident with Stephanie. Even Ricco, who Minoru believed laughed at everything and could find a silver lining in any situation, couldn't find a single thing to joke about when he heard the story. He told Minoru that true love did not emerge in the form of stalking or obsessiveness, but in wanting only true happiness for the one you loved. By his logic, Stephanie was not in love with Minoru and he should therefore not feel guilty for hurting her. By Ricco's logic, Stephanie was a girl obsessed who could only benefit from being let go.

Minoru felt at peace to hear things from Ricco's perspective, and allowed himself not to feel guilty anymore.

The journey to Ricco's home was not simple, involving one three hour connection in Dubai and as Minoru moved onto his connecting flight to Venice, he felt the true weight of his sadness for leaving Japan behind so suddenly and impulsively. He believed that bumping into Stephanie had pushed him over the edge and made him leave without thinking, and that made him angry with her all over again. The only positive here was Ricco, who was constantly happy and for every hour they got closer to his hometown, the happier he got. Minoru relished in his company, constantly sucking out his positive energy and motivating himself with it. He told himself to surround himself with more people like Ricco. He thought of his friends and of his work back home and how he always felt surrounded by people who were complaining. His brother Hitoshi was the most critical and pessimistic person he had ever met. His colleagues were always complaining about how much they hated their jobs and yet continued to sit at their desk for decades to come. Stephanie was always complaining about Minoru and his inability to do basic chores. Ricco was one of a kind; the kind of person you would only meet while sat on a beach in Tokyo watching a self-made fireworks display. He wanted to be as positive as Ricco for the rest of his life, and so he chose to always think of Ricco in times of doubt.

When they arrived in Venice, Minoru had no idea what day or time it was. He was completely and utterly jet lagged and too tired to even soak in the views as Ricco drove his hire car down the Autostrada. He fell into a deep sleep and was only awoken again when Ricco pulled him out of the car. It was early evening, and Minoru was comforted to see that he had arrived in yet another place of unrivalled beauty. The mountains were tall and terrifying, bordering a beautiful blue lake that reflected the sunset, giving Minoru a rough indication of what time it was.

Ricco lead Minoru up a steep hill to a traditional looking and quaint Italian home upon a hill that was dotted with houses all of a similar size but with different colours painted upon the exterior walls. The windows were all accessorised with worn wooden shutters, and Minoru was well aware that he was back in Europe and no longer in a modern city. Ricco showed Minoru into his home, a house that showed he was clearly not wealthy, and yet Minoru believed Ricco to be the wealthiest man he had ever met due to his unwavering enjoyment of life. He showed Minoru into a guest bedroom and then promised him he would be back later, for now he had to reunite with his love. Minoru was perfectly agreeable to the proposition, climbing into the small single bed and falling again into a deep sleep.

He woke up in the middle of the night, abruptly startled by one of the wooden shutters slamming against the window frame following a gust of wind. For possibly five or ten seconds he was in complete fear, but once he called out her name several times, he was sure that Stephanie had not in fact followed him here too.