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As I sat across from dad at the table I knew he was eyeing me warily. I was fidgeting with my cup of orange juice and procrastinating in my head. I knew I was making a big deal out of nothing since I've left before but this time it'd be a while before I came back and I knew it'd affect him somehow. I had made my decision and I wanted to talk to him before Bella returned from Florida. "Dad?" I set my cup down and folded my hands in my lap. He looked up from his newspaper and gave me a small smirk. "I need to tell you something."
He set his newspaper down and looked at me worriedly. "What's going on Clary?"
"I made my decision about NYU." I blurted out. I blushed and glanced away from him. Gathering up what little courage I could find within me, I turned back to face him. His face was blank, unreadable. It irked me. "I'm going." But then it wasn't blank. He smiled. Widely.
"I'm so proud of you Clary." He stood up and opened his arms to me. "I knew you wouldn't turn it down."
"Wait, you want me to go?" I stood up and gaped at him.
"Of course I want you to go!" He put his arms down dramatically. "I'm not going to tell you no, this is your dream Clare-Bear. Follow it." He wrapped his arms around me and I smiled.
"Thanks, Dad." I returned his hug before letting him go.
"So now what?" He asked me. He picked up his uniform jacket and slid it on.
"Well, I took care of everything already. I called the school and the counselor added my name to the graduation list." I put my empty glass into the sink and turned to face him. "All that I have to do is tell everyone."
"Hey, don't stress so much. It'll be fine." He kissed my forehead and picked up his keys from the table. "I'll see you tonight. Take Bella's truck if you decide to go anywhere." I nodded and walked him to the door.
"Stay safe Dad." He turned and gave me a warm smile before heading over to his car.
"Always am." He drove off and I grabbed my phone and Bella's keys. I needed to get this day over with and I made a haste decision to visit La Push first. I donned my black hoodie and quickly locked the door to the house before entering the truck and turning the engine on. I let the cab heat up before I finally strapped myself in and put the truck in reverse.
The drive to La Push was spent with me thinking of ways to tell everyone about my leaving. Some would take the news easy and congratulate me. But I knew some others wouldn't take it so lightly. When I finally pulled up at Sam's house, it had just passed ten o'clock. I knew they would all be here but I didn't know just what mood they were in.
Walking up to the door, my nerves were skyrocketing. I tried to smile but it felt forced to me. I opened the door and everyone turned to look at me as I walked in. "Good morning." I smiled as best as I could and waved. They all returned the waves and smiles but didn't notice my worried expression.
"Clary, you're here early," Emily commented.
"Uh, yeah. I came here because I need to tell you something." I stammered and twiddled with the sleeve of my hoodie nervously.
"We can go talk in my room if you want." I immediately shook my head.
"I need to tell everyone something." I smiled shyly and shifted from one foot to the other. I briefly met gazes with Seth, my newest brother, and gave him a small smile. The one he sent me eased my nerves a little but then they heightened all over again as I realized I would miss his adorable face.
"Is everything okay?" Sam asked me. I sighed and muttered a quiet "I don't know." But because of their super wolf hearing, they all heard me anyways. "Clary, what's wrong?"
"I have some news and I'm not sure how you're going to take it," I mumbled.
"Just tell us, Clary." Jared blurted out. I exhaled slowly and decided to just get it over with.
"Remember how I said you guys were stuck with me until next year?" They all nodded. "Well, I got accepted to NYU for an early admissions program and I leave after graduation. And I know it's kind of far but I'll still be back for holidays so I'm leaving but in a way, I won't be gone that long if that makes any sense."
"That was what you couldn't tell us?" Jake rose an eyebrow at me.
"Yeah, I mean you don't graduate until next year," Jared commented.
"No," I began. "Early acceptance means I'd graduate this year and leave this fall." The room went silent. Nobody said a word and it worried me. I was about to speak up but the scrape of a chair across the floor beat me to it. I stared at Paul as he stood to his full height. He avoided my gaze and marched right past me and headed outside. I was shocked at how he reacted but it shocked me, even more, when Embry and Jared stood up too. They both smiled weakly at me before following after Paul.
"Congratulations Clary," Sam spoke roughly. I nodded my thanks but avoided the stares I was getting. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and I stared blankly at it as a message from Rosalie displayed across the screen.
"I have to go." I rushed out of the house and ignored their calls. I ran to the truck and climbed inside it, quickly locking the door and starting the engine. As I reversed out of the driveway, I stopped and noticed everyone standing and watching me leave. I looked away and finished making my escape.
I had to leave there. I knew they were at least proud of me but the sadness that echoed in the air was too much for me to handle. I should have stayed and let them speak but I could feel my heart racing faster and I had to leave before I had a panic attack.
Instead of heading home, I drove to the Cullen's. They all knew of my decision, thanks to Emmett's bragging, and I was glad for that. I parked the truck beside Emmett's monstrous jeep and headed to the door. Before I could even knock on it, the one person I wanted to see opened it.
"Clary." The small woman smiled warmly at me. And that was all it took.
"Esme." I leaped at her and finally let my tears fall. She wrapped her arms around me and held me in her doorway as I cried into her shoulder.
"It's okay dear, it'll all be okay." She rubbed my head soothingly and guided me inside her house. I walked beside her, still sniffling, and tried to keep my tears from falling. "I'm guessing you told them and not all of them took it well." We sat on the staircase and she just let me lean my body into hers. I nodded and I started sobbing all over again. I couldn't form any words so I didn't bother trying. But she didn't care. She just held me and let me stain her shirt with my tears. "I'm sorry dear."
Me too Esme. Me too. I thought as I closed my eyes.
⋅˚₊‧ ☾ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ♡‧₊˚
I felt a shifting beside me and I blinked my eyes open and saw Emmett laying beside me reading a magazine. I moved my body closer to his and smiled at his cold temperature. Without looking at me, one of his muscled arms wrapped around me and brought my body even closer to his. One of my legs was now settled over his lap and my arm was draped across his chest. He leaned over and kissed my forehead tenderly and gave me a bright smile.
"Go to sleep beautiful, everything is okay." I nodded and kissed his arm softly before closing my eyes and allowing myself to drift away once again. I knew everything wasn't okay but knowing that Emmett would be by my side throughout it all made everything better.
