Remember// ZH

t w e n t y s i x

Look what you did kota, you fucked up, you fucked everything up again. Why do you have to be so dumb. I get up and i go to this kitchen. I grab a knife and i hide it in the sweatshirt i stole from zach. I go into the bathroom and i take the knife and i hold it up against my stomach. I start crying. You don't belong, just do it. I take the sweatshirt off and i fold it and put it on the counter. I start putting pressure on my stomach with th knife up against it. I cry more and more, putting more pressure slowly. My stomach starts bleeding and i'm trying to keep quiet. Ethan opens the door and sees me. I drop the knife and i run out of the bathroom. "GRAYSON GET HER!!!" e yells running after me. I run outside with my stomach still bleeding. "DAKOTA COME BACK!!!" gray yells. I run all the way to the pool at their apartment place. "Don't tell my mom." i say crying. I see another car pull into gray and e's driveway. "Oh no"

The pain in my stomach is getting worse. I try running but it doesn't work. I see five people run to the gate. It's the boys. "Let us in!!!" jonah yells. "Okay!" e yells running towards the gate. I start falling and zach runs and catches me. "Kota" he says holding me. Jonah calls the ambulance. Everything starts getting blurry and i can't see straight. "Kota, kota, hello?" zach asks shaking me worried. His voice is very faint, and quiet to me. "Dakota!!! It's all my fault!!!" zach yells crying. "Dakota, hello?" gray says sitting by me. I can see everyone but they are all blurry. I start closing my eyes. "DAKOTA NO!!!" zach screams. I close my eyes and i hear nothing.

I wake up in the ambulance and daniel and zach are sitting next to me. I can't see clearly, but i can still see the blobs that immitate them. Zach looks over at me and he's crying. We get to the hospital and they take me out of the ambulance. I close my eyes once again, and i feel nothing.

A couple hours later i wake up and my cousins gray and e are there, along with the boys. Zach has his hand on mine crying. "It's all my fault, i shouldn't have kicked her out" zach says resting his head on the bed next to my hand. "Why did you?" jonah asks. "I don't know" he says looking at me. "It's because her depression. When her depression takes over, she needs to be alone. If you don't leave her be, her depression takes over and she can't control it. No matter what" gray says looking down. "Is that why she was at the bottom of the pool?" daniel asks. "Yeah, she was taught by a counselor what to do. She was told to sit by something she loves. And kota taught herself to sit at the bottom. And she can hold her breath for a really long time" e says loking at me. I move my hand and zach quickly looks at me. "Kota?" he asks. I slowly open my eyes and i start breathing quickly, my heartbeat going faster. "Kota?" gray asks, getting up from his seat. "I-- c-c-can't b-b-breath" i say trying to get air. "Shit" gray says walking out. "Kota, calm down" zach says freaking out. "What is happening?" jonah asks worried. "She's having an asthma attack" e says walking over to me. "Deep breaths kota" e says trying to get me to calm down. Gray comes in with a nurse and a doctor.

They put her on a thing called a nebulizer and she calms down. "She should be okay for now" the doctor says leaving. "Okay" gray says sitting next to me. "Kota you okay?" gray asks. She shakes her head. "Okay, want water?" he asks. She shakes her head again. "Kota!" jack says walking in. he starts over to kota, and gray stands up. "Okay sorry" jack says walking to a chair. kota frowns at gray. "I don't trust any of you." gray says sitting down. "I'm sorry, we were all worried about her. We didn't know" jonah says sitting up. "I know, but why did you kick her out?" e asks. "We didn't kick her out, zach did" jonah says looking at me. "I'm sorry, she was going off at me and i didn't calm her down like i usually do" i say looking down. "Well this wouldn't have happened if y-" e cuts him off. "Grayson calm down dude" e says standing up. "Whatever" gray says walking out of the room.

We all walk in and i sit next to kota. Grayson and ethan have the boys leave the room. "Kota?" i ask. "W-what?" she asks faintly. "I'm sorry, i promise i will be the best boyfriend ever if you let me take you back. I promise that no matter what i won't get angry. And i just want you to know that i will love and keep you in my heart until i die, if you don't want me anymore. I did something so bad and i feel like the dumbest person ever. I now understand what is going on, and i'll try so hard to keep you from being unhappy." i say holding her hand. She smiles and squeezes my hand. I kiss her on the head and she blushes, just like the first time. "I love you kota, and i will forever." i say smiling. "I-i love y-you t-to" she says smiling. "You hungry?" i ask. "Yeah" she says faintly. "Okay, i'll have the boys come back in, and i'll get you some food" i say smiling.